Walking Backwards

The following entry is a self-pitying rant, please forgive me:

I hate being in a bad mood, but I seem to have been in one for a week now. I really don't want to be, but I keep vacillating between depression and anger. Joe thinks it is because they changed the dosage on my hormone injections. He wants me to call them right away and find out what to do to stop this horrible behavior of mine. I, personally, think it is because Nicholas has been wearing me out and I haven't had any time without him in months. I think I am suffering a self-identity crisis. With a toddler, your entire life is involved in theirs. You can't do anything without thinking about them first. I can't even take a shower without the baby in the shower with me. I love having him with me, but sometimes I just want a little peace.

Why is play-doh so difficult to make? Ok, I shouldn't say so difficult to make, but the color is really hard to get right. I tried to make red play-doh today and came out with this unusual meat-colored concoction. I had previously tried blue, but ended up with light teal. It doesn't matter how much food coloring you add either; you are just going to darken the shade of weirdness. I would buy the stuff that comes pre-made in cans, after all its less than a dollar, but I am more comfortable with the homemade variety of anything my son is probably going to put in his mouth. I suppose the color doesn't matter to an eighteen month-old, but all my creations don't seem as bright and cheery as I'd like them to be.


Nicholas has taken to tantruming regularly. He does have a set of lungs on him too and knows how to use them. I had to leave the fabric store today because he just could not accept the fact that I would not buy him the gigantic bag of plastic Easter eggs that he kept dragging behind him. I'm worried that I am not going to be able to ever get anything done again because I always have to take Nicholas with me where ever I go. Joe is home very little and when he is, he complains about running errands the whole time we are doing them so it is just not worth it. I guess I am just going to have to suck it up and handle the angry glares of the other customers. I hope they understand that he is just a baby and this is the way babies behave sometimes. After all, we all have bad days sometimes.


I need to re-do our budget. I have yet to figure out where all of our money has been going recently, but it has been going. We have essentially eliminated eating out and I rarely buy anything, so I just don't get it. I did spend some money getting home improvement items, but that shouldn't be as significant a dent into our checking account as we seem to be having. We are getting all of our paperwork together to do our taxes tomorrow, so I should probably look into everything then. This has me really worried because we were cutting it close financially when we first moved in to this house and we need to watch every penny closely for the next few years. At least our bills are getting paid off, we just might not have the money to do anything for the next three years. Mentioning which, when did hotels at the coast get so expensive during the off-season? The only way we are going to be able to go is if we have a nice tax-return.


I know I shouldn't complain as we live fairly comfortably and never have to worry about having our electricity turned off. I am just whiney tonight I guess. I don't know why I'm so cranky.

So. . . very. . . tired. My insomnia is driving me nuts. Yesterday went great as far as Nico's schedule goes, he was asleep by 10:30. I layed in bed for five hours after that, just tossing and turning, until I finally got to sleep. The baby woke up two hours later wanting to nurse and it took me another hour to go to sleep after that. He woke up for good just before nine. Bleh. I think I am going to have to go to my old standby of drinking a small glass of wine before bed. At least that way I'll be happy if I'm awake. You'd think that after all I do during the day that I would be asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, but it doesn't seem to work that way.

I am starting to become overwhelmed with all of my household responsibilities. I can't even imagine what I would do if I worked in addition to all that has to be done around here. I have to applaud all single parents because their workload is unfathomable to me. Right now, I have a list of items that need to be done that is two pages front and back. They all need to be done fairly soon, too. Of course, because of Nicholas everything takes three times as long as normal. I really enjoy seeing everything through his new eyes, but it does require being patient, not rushing him, and accepting the fact that when you go to the store to buy cat food, you also have to look at everything else in the store with careful attention to detail. He does make the normally tedious tasks fun, though. I just hate that when I get something done now, it doesn't seem to make my list any shorter. More gets added every day. My hobbies and all the activities I enjoy seem to have taken a backseat to the daily requirements of life. I also feel like I am shorting Nicholas on the parenting thing because we never have a moment to be still.

I do have to say we live in a wonderful world. This morning Nicholas and I had strawberries in vanilla yogurt. Strawberries in the middle of winter is a pleasure that I think most people take for granted. When I saw them in the grocery store, I got quite excited, but had to wonder about all the shoppers passing by who didn't even grant these lovely ruby jewels of early summer a sideward glance. A dozen or so types of apples are expected to be seen in today's markets. The bunches of fresh herbs and exotic fruits and vegetables are piled high. I consider myself quite lucky. I guess simple things are what make me happy.

Another day at pre-school today. We found out that the children and parents on the waiting list will find out at the end of February or the beginning of March whether or not they got into one of the coveted 16 class spots. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. This is one wonderful school. Nicholas really seems to enjoy it there and I love the people. He is having a hard time adjusting to the structure of a class, but we are going to work on that. Hopefully, he will be able to adjust to not being able to do what he wants, when he wants. Tomorrow we are going to see about re-enrolling him in Kindermusik. He can use some planned activities and the teacher we had before moved to a more pleasing location for us. She wants to move him up to the more advanced class, but I don't know if he meets the criteria yet, so we go tomorrow to find out. I have yet to figure how we are going to be able to afford it, but I'll have a month to make the money appear. I can do it.

Tonight I went to Home Depot to pick up color swatches and tile samples for our bathroom. The floor is just driving me nuts. Who puts carpet in a bathroom, anyway? Even around the toilet, what were these people thinking. The walls are also painted light brown, its not really pleasing. I decided on light purple walls, a grey-blue ceiling, and antique white baseboards and cabinets. The painting is going to be difficult because we have twelve foot ceilings, but I'll manage. Now laying the tile is another story entirely. The Lowe's tutorial makes it seem really complicated. Maybe I am just reading too much into it, but should there be that many materials and steps? I am going to have to figure it out because we can't afford for someone to come in and install it. Maybe if I can manage it, it will give me the confidence to replace the floors in the other bedrooms. Yeah, that's a nice fantasy. Must wait for the brothers to move out, though. They live like typical teenagers.

Some site news, I am probably going to be moving my blog over to my domain next week. I've been meaning to do it since I first started this thing, but I'm lazy. I have to make a cohesive index page first and then onto the migration. Don't worry my two readers, updates will be left :).

Its Friday, so its time for the Friday Five:

At this moment, what is your favorite...

1. ...song?
Extreme Ways by Moby

2. ...food?
Pho with tofu skins and scallions

3. ...tv show?
Gillmore Girls

4. ...scent?
Lemongrass

5. ...quote?
If you must argue, remember that it is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.
- William Gibbs McAdoo

I seem to keep forgeting things these days. My gardening journal is up and will actually have some content soon. Keep your eyes open.

So I'm tired and moody. Therefore my entry this evening will not be all that substantial. I've had a long day. First, Nicholas and I went to the Wildflower Center and looked at all the plants and ran around. He especially enjoyed the crunching sound his shoes made on the crushed gravel path and kept stomping up and down to make noise. It is lovely there even when the flowers aren't blooming and its the middle of winter. I had a hard time keeping him out of the fountains, but no way was I going to let him play in that water. I was hoping to get some garden ideas, but I couldn't really get much research done chasing after the baby. Here are some of our pictures from today:


This is Nicholas climbing all over the benches in the butterfly garden.



The arches at the front of the center are about twenty-five feet tall and continue on a path for several yards.



The fountain that I envy and that Nico wants to swim in.



We ran other errands today, but Nicholas has been a grumpy man since we left the house this morning. We went to Chick-fil-A for lunch and he got a book of 500 German words in his kid's meal. I don't know how long it is going to be before he gets into that one as we are still trying to teach him how to sort out his body parts.


We ended the day today with a quick jaunt down to San Antonio to drop off and set up my dad's new computer and check out his new place. I really enjoyed seeing him and hope he gets to come up to visit us more now that he is going to invest in a new vehicle. I need to go back down there to drop of some drives and pick up the orchid trees, but its a difficult trip with the little man (although a lot better now that we moved south).

I shall leave you with a punk-rock portrait of my baby from New Year's Eve with his good friend, Fiona.

I forgot! I found out that the Oprah Book Club picked out one of my favorite books of all time: 'One Hundred Years of Solitude' by Garbriel Garcia Marquez. This book is wonderful and I'm glad to see it getting to mainstream America.

WooHoo! Gotta love those caffeine-driven days. I spent most of the day today getting together some activities for Nicholas. I've been reading the 'Toddler Busy Book' and have gotten some great ideas. So today we went by Hobby Lobby to stock up on construction paper and felt and the like. The next couple of weeks should be interesting. Although, I am a bit trepidacious about giving my son a paintbrush full of washable tempera and have him go at it, even if it is outside. I still have some materials to pick up, but they can wait until we've exhausted this stash. I am going to build him a velcro playboard for his high-chair tonight after he goes to bed. Hope that turns out okay. I also want to make him paper bag blocks and play-doh. I can't wait. His short time in pre-school has inspired me it seems. Now all I want to do is plan and participate in educational activities for the little one.

I spoke to my mother on the phone for over two hours yesterday. It was nice to be able to talk to her for so long as the baby usually pulls my attention away from the phone quite awhile before my conversation is finished. He played with the cat, his ball cage, and watched his baby Einstein video quietly. She told me that we are going to be unable to scatter my grandmother's ashes until late July because the area she wants to be her final resting place will be frozen and inaccessible until then. This is actually advantageous to us because Joe will be able to go. We are going to fly into Wenachee instead of Seattle and stay in the small town of Winthrop. It is the most beautiful time of year there. I'm looking forward to it. Not the plane ride there, though.

Joe and I are still trying to finalize plans for his vacation this year. He has three weeks to burn before April 22nd and we really need to figure out what we are going to do now. He has to get a temporary replacement to do his job while he is away and his company needs the dates to set that up. His company got re-structured today so there is no telling how difficult figuring out the dates is going to be. I hope we get to go to the coast. I want to go to Port Aransas and rent a cabin and stay there for a whole week. It will be nice even if the water is a little cold. I wouldn't mind sitting at home, either. I'm just happy with the idea of getting to spend that much time with Joe.

No comment on the progress in the garden except to say damn, those landscape timbers are heavy. I have gotten the site stared for my garden blog, but no layout or content. I'm still looking for an appropriate template.

As everyone must know, the democratic primary election in Iowa had been won by Sen. Kerry. I don't know how I feel about this, but it has made me realize that I don't completely like a single one of the democratic candidates I've researched. Dean just pissed me off when I heard his speech here because it was all Bush bashing and not enough talk about what he plans to do himself. I never like when someone tries to get ahead by bad mouthing the opponent. Honestly, everyone in that crowd thought Bush was doing a bad job and Dean was just pandering to their sense of frustration with the current commander-in-chief. Kerry doesn't sit well with me either, but that is probably because he is a middle-of-the-fence democrat. He doesn't have radical reform ideas for the current state of the union, but thinks that what is going on now isn't right. He initially supported the war (although thinks it is being mismanaged now) and doesn't believe in repealing quite a few of Bush's tax cuts (some of them benefit me so I probably shouldn't complain). Bah! I hate politics. This is why I feel the way I do, though. I'm probably talking out of my ass anyway. There websites do make them out to be all-powerful, capable of destroying the nations problems in a single bound. I'm sorry to have missed that state of the union address tonight. I like to know what state my union is in. Plus, it can be funny to watch.

More tomorrow, hopefully.

Shiny, happy, lovely day. Nico and I ran errands in north Austin today. Some of what we did:
- We went to Fry's to pick up my dad's computer
- We went to Zany Brainy and played with close-out toys
- We went to the clearance bookstore and bought a book on lawn care
- We bought all of our Whole Foods groceries (but we left our yogurt in Seanna's fridge)
- We ate brunch at Cafe Java
- We hung out with Aiden and Seanna at their place and then went to dinner
- We had ice cream
It was an altogether nice day. Aiden and Nicholas are buddies now which is a nice change from when they first met. Nicholas would screech and Aiden would cry. Tonight they chased each other around the ice cream shop laughing. Seanna and I spent most of the night talking about how we are handling the new life of toddlerhood. Its good to go out to eat with someone else who has a baby, too. The blame about the mess goes around. I realized that Nicholas is a lot happier if I don't rush him on errands and let him run around to explore for awhile. He had quite a bit of fun being allowed to just wander around the bookstore with me following him for half an hour. I think I am going to have to allow more time for my errand from now on.

I haven't written a post-preschool entry yet to record this momentous event. It has been a whole three days, so I suppose it is time to re-live it. It wasn't really all that bad for Nico's first day. I love his school and the people there are wonderful. They just had too many new toys for Nicholas to be concentrating on anything else. Add that to the fact that he was up until after midnight the night before because his daddy was home and that was too exciting to miss. He played with the stacking toys and the cars for the first half of class and wouldn't participate in any of the activities. He was interested in the other children if they came up, but didn't make any real effort to socialize. The last half-hour, he kind of fell apart. He wanted me to hold him the whole time and play with the toys that were on the wall. I was not to put him down by any means! I expect that he will get better with time, he just has to be given the chance to adapt. He doesn't do well in new situations and definitely doesn't like being told what to do. The director also agrees that he'll just involve himself at his own pace. The class is only for the next three weeks, so after that I am going to try to get him into a Gymboree program or something similar to get him used to class before he gets into the next session of pre-school this September.

My favorite recipe for Macaroni and Cheese is now in my kitchen blog.

More later, but for now. . . The Friday Five:

1. What does it say in the signature line of your emails?

A link to my online journal, of course, and a quote by Walter Bagehot:
"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."


2. Did you have a senior quote in your high school yearbook? What was it? If you haven't graduated yet, what would you like your quote to be?
I didn't have a senior quote in my yearbook or even a senior year in high school. I graduated a year early and didn't get to do all of the traditional senior type things.


3. If you had vanity plates on your car, what would they read? If you already have them, what do they say?
I don't particularly care for vanity plates, but if I did have them they would say . . . A CAR. So easy to remember.


4. Have you received any gifts with messages engraved upon them? What did the inscription say?
I had an engraved ring from an ex-boyfriend in high school. It said "my dove" in latin. I was such a nerd in high school.

5. What would you like your epitaph to be?
"How long did you expect me to stay here?"

I will also leave you with a cute pic of the baby.

Today has yet to be as pleasant as I would have hoped it would be. It has been raining almost all day long and I didn't get to set up my garden or go to the wildflower center. I don't really mind all that much that this didn't get done as most days go by without my succeeding in my plans, but today I haven't felt any joy in my life at all. I can't explain it beyond the dreariness outside my window. I hope tomorrow things will look brighter, as far as my mood at least as the weather doesn't look too promising. For now, I am going to have a cup of tea and read from my book. Tomorrow is another day.

Ok, I thought this was neat so a copying I will go :)

Here's 100 movies... bolded are the ones I've seen

1 Godfather, The (1972)
2 Shawshank Redemption, The (1994)
3 Godfather: Part II, The (1974)
4 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The (2003)
5 Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002)
6 Casablanca (1942)
7 Schindler's List (1993)
8 Shichinin no samurai (1954)(aka Seven Samuri)
9 Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001)
10 Citizen Kane (1941)
11. Star Wars Episode IV A New Hope (1977)
12 One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
13 Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
14 Rear Window (1954)
15 Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
16 Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
17 Memento (2000)
18 Usual Suspects, The (1995)
19 Pulp Fiction (1994)
20 North by Northwest (1959)
21 Fabuleux destin d'Amelie Poulain, Le (2001)(aka Ameile)
22 Psycho (1960)
23 12 Angry Men (1957)
24 Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
25 Silence of the Lambs, The (1991)
26 Buono, il brutto, il cattivo, Il (1966)(aka The Good, the Bad, and The Ugly)
27 It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
28 Goodfellas (1990)
29 American Beauty (1999)
30 Vertigo (1958)
31 Sunset Blvd. (1950)
32 Pianist, The (2002)
33 Matrix, The (1999)
34 Apocalypse Now (1979)
35 To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
36 Some Like It Hot (1959)
37 Taxi Driver (1976)
38 Paths of Glory (1957)
39 Third Man, The (1949)
40 C'era una volta il West (1968)
41 Fight Club (1999)
42 Boot, Das (1981)
43 Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001)(aka Spirited Away)
44 Double Indemnity (1944)
45 L.A. Confidential (1997)
46 Chinatown (1974)
47 Singin' in the Rain (1952)
48 Requiem for a Dream (2000)
49 Maltese Falcon, The (1941)
50 M (1931)
51 All About Eve (1950)
52 Bridge on the River Kwai, The (1957)
53 Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
54 Se7en (1995)
55 Saving Private Ryan (1998)
56 Cidade de Deus (2002)
57 Raging Bull (1980)
58 Wizard of Oz, The (1939)
59 Rashomon (1950)
60 Sting, The (1973)
61 American History X (1998)
62 Alien (1979)
63 Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
64 Leon (The Professional) (1994)
65 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
66 Vita bella, La (1997)(aka Life is Beautiful)
67 Touch of Evil (1958)
68 Manchurian Candidate, The (1962)
69 Wo hu cang long (2000) (aka Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon)
70 Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The (1948)
71 Great Escape, The (1963)
72 Clockwork Orange, A (1971)
73 Reservoir Dogs (1992)
74 Annie Hall (1977)
75 Amadeus (1984)
76 Jaws (1975)
77 Ran (1985)
78 On the Waterfront (1954)
79 Modern Times (1936)
80 High Noon (1952)
81 Braveheart (1995)
82 Apartment, The (1960)
83 Sixth Sense, The (1999)
84 Fargo (1996)
85 Aliens (1986)
86 Shining, The (1980)
87 Blade Runner (1982)
88 Strangers on a Train (1951)
89 Duck Soup (1933)
90 Metropolis (1927)
91 Finding Nemo (2003)
92 Donnie Darko (2001)
93 Toy Story 2 (1999)
94 Princess Bride, The (1987)
95 General, The (1927)
96 City Lights (1931)
97 Lola rennt (1998)
98 Full Metal Jacket (1987)
99 Notorious (1946)
100 Sjunde inseglet, Det (1957)(aka The Seventh Seal)

Yipee! I got my railroad ties. I bought four, very heavy posts yesterday from a landscaping company down the street that is getting ready to move. They were more expensive than I was expecting, but I called around and I got a really good price. I still have to get dirt, but that will have to wait a week or so. I'm going to have to buy it in bags because I don't think loading my car up with mulch would be such a great idea. Since Joe is home, I am hoping to lay out the ties tomorrow and put down the newspaper. I'll have to wet it to keep it down, or maybe pick up one bag of dirt. I'll put up pictures as soon as it stops being just a pile of wood in my backyard. Next, I'll have to figure out my planting schedule and pick up barrels to put the tomatoes in. Maybe next year I can get a greenhouse box to start my own seeds. Goodness I am getting ambitious.

We didn't get to go to the Wildflower center today, but perhaps tomorrow. I had another bad episode of insomnia last night and only got about three hours of sleep. Joe gave me a rest for a couple of hours this afternoon, but I still wasn't up to speed. I am really missing the days when I could take a sleeping pill when I wasn't able to sleep. No amount of tea or other esoteric remedies seem to be working. I don't even want to talk about what eliminating caffeine from my diet has done to my sanity.

My mom is coming back to Texas to testify for a friend of hers at the end of February through the begining of March. The trial is going to be in San Antonio and she wants me to stay down there with her while she is visiting. We'll have to see. I may go for a day or two, but my mother isn't used to exsistance with a baby and doesn't seem to understand the work and responsibilities involved. Nico just can't keep up with her. Having her come down is beneficial as she won't pressure us to go to Seattle right away. The idea of being on a plane for five hours with my munchkin sets me on edge. When he was younger it was fine, but now he has a lot more mobility and energy. I'm hoping we won't have to fly with him until we go to Italy in two years.

Some days I just have to wonder why my baby is so grumpy. Today is not one of those days. I know why he is gumpy. With my being sick and his coming down with the same illness in combination with the holidays, Nico's schedule has gone totally and completely insane. He slept until 11:30 this morning. The only reason I allowed him to sleep this late is because I was still asleep, totally exhausted from fighting to keep him in bed all night long. Hopefully, he will want to go down for good at 11 tonight. I won't hold my breath because he snuck in several short naps today. I thought he was playing in his ball tunnel with the cat, but I check on him after I put up the laundry and he is fast asleep. He fell asleep in his stroller while I was cleaning out the garage and he passed out in the middle of his late lunch. I finally let him lay down for half an hour from 6:30 until 7 while I got ready to go to the grocery store. He was not overjoyed to be awoken. I have to get him back on track as his class is Friday. I have a feeling that it is going to take me all week to do so.

The cat got out today and decided to take a tour of the neighborhood. She normally just runs out and hides under one of the cars until someone drags her out and takes her back inside. Today I let her wander between the cars before trying to get her and felt like exploring. She has never really been outside in her whole life. Joe and I have been debating whether or not we want to let her outside on a more permanent basis. She decided that for us today. After she had been outside for about forty-five minutes and I had lost track of her, our neighbors from down the street called us to pick up our "aggressive" cat. I found it quite strange to be called to get my cat from less than fifty yards away, but I guess they assumed she wasn't supposed to be out. Who knows? The people who got her were really nice, but I didn't understand why they took her into their house. Most of the time you see a cat wandering around that looks as well fed as my cat with a collar on, you just assume that its exploring and you let it wander on. She didn't like being in a strange house it seems, because she wouldn't let anyone hold her. I guess that is why she qualified as aggressive. For now she is happy to be home, but I imagine by tomorrow she'll be fighting to get out again.

As I said earlier, I spent quite a lot of the day cleaning out the garage. It had become storage for all of our Christmas trash and stuff that had been dumped from the attic. I bagged all of the trash up and crushed all of the stuff for recycling. This is quite a pain because Austin has one of the most difficult waste-management set ups I have ever gotten to participate in. First, they only pick up one 60 gallon trash can (that they rent to you for a big fee) once a week. Anything that is over that you get charged $4 a bag. If you buy extra trash stickers its $2 a bag. It is supposed to encourage recycling, which is fine, but their recycling set up isn't user friendly either. I had to break down a ton of boxes today into a maximum of 3x3 ft. squares and bind them all together with string. Whenever you have to recycle paper it has to be in a separate brown paper bag and all lawn clippings have to be put into a specific 'lawn clipping' bag that you have to buy at Home Depot or the like. The list of recyclable items is also limited. I never knew that I would ever spend so much time contemplating and organizing trash. You should see my curb; 10 extra bags of trash, tons of sorted, crushed, and washed recyclables, and lots of cardboard. My neighbors must be wondering what we've been up to.

In other news, I found a feature on how to do the paint treatment I have decided on for our bedroom. I want to do our bedroom paint in Morning Surf with a linen finish. I'm also going to refinish our retro furniture in antique white and silver. It should come out nice. Hopefully we can get this done while Joe is on vacation. Our room drives me nuts. The people who lived here before us painted it grey and it might be nice, but it is in disrepair with chips and such. I said I was going to do our front room first, but we spend so much more time in our bedroom that I think that it gets more of a priority. The paint is going to take three days according to the site so I am going to have to figure out where we are going to sleep around that. It shouldn't be too hard. Tile is so comfortable after all :)

Tomorrow we are going to look at landscaping supplies at one of the places down the street. I have to find a place that will deliver. All I am going to get is the railroad ties, the barrels, and the soil for my vegetable garden. I want to look at all of the borders that they have for gardens. Sheryl recommended limestone, but I am thinking about using brick to match the house. I might take home a few of our options and decide when I see them in the yard. I wish I could find one of the companies that sells recycled landscaping materials, because they have such cheap stuff and I want it to have a lived in look to it. I can't wait until at least some of it gets set up. I'll post pictures as soon as anything gets into place. Right now it just exists in the boring planning and measurement stage.

Today has been pretty eventful in respect to my last week. To most it would seem boring, but to someone who has been in bed for a week it is full of excitement. I spent most of my morning trying to recover the house from a week in the care of my husband. Apparently Nicholas tried to hide several pieces of candy cane under my bookshelves. I spent the good part of an hour scraping the pieces off my wood floors as carefully as possible. I then put away all of our Christmas decorations and moved the boxes into the garage to go up into the attic later. I cleaned out my calendar and made a to do list for the next week. I swept all of the floors and mopped the front room. In the last hour I have paid all of our bills (hope that one will arrive by the 13th). By far the most exciting part of my day was a trip to South Congress to go shopping with Annie. We went to DragonSnaps to pick up some clothes for the baby before they closed. I got a fleece sweater, a pair of pants, a jumper, a hat, and a red t-shirt for the short one. They are soft and cotton and lovely. Annie spent a good deal of time shopping for vintage clothes at New Bohemia and got some choice items. I love vintage clothes but can't justify buying them right now. They invited me to go to church with them tomorrow, but I don't know if Nico will be up to it. It seems that his interpretation of the current bug going around is runny nose + severe congestion + difficulty breathing. He is still smiling, but I worry when my baby is having such a hard time breathing. I'm hoping he will improve soon, the congestion is keeping him up at night.

I think I have found my next project for the year. Other than Nicholas' baby book that is. It is a photo memory quilt. I would love to have our family photos in quilt form. Much better than the cardboard box they currently exist in. I do really want to keep up with my scrapbooking this year and I probably shouldn't add another project, but it seems like I can do this at the same time. It would also help get rid of some of the massive amounts of fabric I have stored around the house, unused since the baby was born. We shall see. It always seems that I come up with so much to do at the beginning of the year and then get lazy about two months in and end up with ten unfinished projects on my hands. This year, instead of just saying I am not going to do these things, I am going to resolve to not start a project until I am done with another. That should work. . . right?

I finally put a recipe in my kitchen blog and have started the layout for my garden blog. Now I just have to pick out a name for it . . .

A whole week and I am finally beginning to feel like I should be able to rejoin society. It turns out that I had gotten bronchitis. I went to the doctor on Monday for a series of chest x-rays and breathing treatments. The doctor put me on a steroid regimen and gave me a big shot of the stuff. He also started me on a new asthma treatment program. I had to call Joe home from work because I couldn't take care of the baby on my own my breathing had gotten so poor. Now I just feel exhausted. Doing a load of laundry is enough to put me on the couch. I should be all better in a couple of days, though. I worry about the baby now because he just started coughing really badly yesterday and he will not take his medicine. He doesn't have asthma or any serious respiratory problems so it shouldn't be so bad. He did have to miss his pre-school preview class today, but should be there next week.

Yesterday, Joe and I went to run errands since we were entirely out of most everything. I didn't want to have to do it by myself and it was nice to see the outside world for the first time in a week. We went to Babies R'Us to get some clearance baby clothes, diapers, and bibs. I was looking to get the little one a coat, but they didn't have a great selection. We also went to Zany Brainy, which is closing its doors at the end of the month. I wish we had a lot more money to spend because I saw so much stuff I know Nicholas would love. We did get a Kinderzeat, a crawlspace that ends in a ball house (very space-consuming we have discovered), a baby einstein video, and some wooden puzzles. I wanted to get the 'Thomas the Train' starter set, but it was one-hundred and fifty dollars on clearance. That wasn't going to happen. After getting back I had to go to bed, but Nicholas spent about an hour just sitting in his new tunnel system. He loves it. His new favorite past-time is to sit in his tunnel and throw balls at us as we walk by. Even the cat digs it.

I read in the paper yesterday that my favorite local baby store is closing. It is really sad what is happening to a lot of these businesses. The S. Congress shopping district used to be a bad neighborhood, but a bunch of funky shops moved in and made it a wonderful place. Now, they are unable to afford the raised rents the property owner's are charging them and we are going to end up with another boutique that sells six-hundred dollar a pair shoes. The baby store, DragonSnaps, was one of the few places I could get clothes that fit Nicholas. Every time I had to overhaul his wardrobe, I went there to pick up supplies. Now, I have to find somewhere else to go for all of his unusual clothes. I feel so sorry for the owner's, this store has been their way of life for twenty years.

As I am getting sicker and don't really feel like doing much of anything at all that requires me to be sitting up, I think for today all I will do is the Friday Five. Here goes:

What one thing are you most looking forward to . . .

1. ...today?
Going to bed with a nice dose of Nyquil

2. ...over the next week?
Nico starts his pre-school preview class

3. ...this year?
Watching my baby grow up

4. ...over the next five years?
Getting my degree and teaching certificate

5. ...for the rest of your life?
Getting to travel to places I have always wanted to go: Spain, Greece, England, etc.

Well, we all knew what was going to happen. I am now sick. Not terribly sick in the debilitated, delusional kind of way. I am sick in the feeling-like-crap-but-still-able-to-function kind of way. My whole body aches and I have a terrible cough, but am still able to get up to do laundry, albeit bitterly. This all comes at a very inopportune time as this week was to be the beginning of my spring cleaning and the week I was going to lay out all of the borders for my vegetable garden. I just want to lie on the couch and drink tea. Sadly, Nicholas doesn't understand that illness is supposed to slow you down so he wants me up and playing with him even though he probably feels terrible as well. It is sad to think that I have a great deal less fortitude than my toddler. Good news is that Jon is beginning on the upward slope to wellness after a short four days. Only three more to go.

We did go to Mark and Maria's last night for our New Year's Eve celebration. We drove to San Antonio and got there about 6:30. Drinking did not begin until about 8:30 as we are all settled family people who are used to being asleep at 11 without alcohol. Movies and revelry ensued and it was quite a bit of fun. Nicholas and Fiona played well together, seemingly ignoring each other most of the time. Nicholas wanted to flip over on the couches and in Fiona's crib. He was such a monkey. I'll have to upload pictures of his suave self as soon as they become available. Joe got 'The House of Yes' on DVD as his Christmas gift and we are excitedly looking forward to watching it again. It has some of the funniest lines I have ever heard in a movie. Not for everyone, but we like it.

I wanted to include my New Year's resolutions in this entry. They aren't well thought out at this point, but I figure that if I don't do them now, I'll keep putting them off until March. Here goes:
1. Develop more organized activities for Nicholas.
- We have been doing the same routine for some time now and I wanted to add more
stuff to interest him. I also want to take him out for more activities out of the house.
2. Learn to knit.
- I've wanted to be able to knit for a while and actually went to the local knitting supply
store and got a book recommendation and a list of classes. I just have to do it.
3. Become a more educated consumer.
- I boycott Wal-Mart because I don't believe in a lot of their practices and I know that
there are many companies out there that I wouldn't shop at if I knew their dirty little
secrets. I just need to spend more time learning about where my money goes. I also
want to try to support local businesses more.
4. Take better care of my health.
- Since Nico came along I have been playing second fiddle in the personal care
department. I just want to make sure that I am drinking enough water, that I eat well
food regularly, and start back with a little bit of my "pretty myself" routine. It will make
me feel better.
5. Spend more time working on the house.
- We are in here for the long haul apparently. I can finally start to settle in.
6. Get some of Nicholas' baby book done.
- He is almost two after all and I haven't even done the page for his baby shower.

In the news today, a sign that people may start to recognize that herbal supplements are medications and should be taken as medications, not some harmless food source. I have mixed emotions about the FDA banning ephedra, but I do understand the reason they are doing it. To be honest, I am surprised that they haven’t done it sooner with rampant abuse on both the sides of the consumer and the manufacturers of products that contain ephedra. Not that I am too fond of the government telling me that I am not supposed to consume a plant that has a lot of medicinal benefits if used properly.