Walking Backwards

Nicholas is sleeping in this morning; he's had a busy week. I know I should wake him up because we are trying to get his schedule back in order for the start of preschool in two weeks, but he looks so sweet sleeping with his mouth slightly open and his hands curled into little fists around his blanket. That and he's quiet. I also have Joe home from work this morning because he feels ill. I have no idea what is wrong with him, but it must be nice to be able to call in sick to work. Unfortunately, my boss won't accept any excuses. The pest control guy is also coming today to treat my house (we live next to an empty field and get all kinds of creepy things if we don't have him show up regularly) and maybe my front yard. Also today, I have a meeting at Nico's preschool to go over the routine for this year and get a list of acceptable snacks and meet the teacher. It's at 7, no kids allowed. Joe had better get well really fast.

So busy this week. My little day planner is overrun with entries for this week. All the little lined spaces for each day are full, which is ironic because last week was a desolate wasteland of my boring life. I don't know why that always happens to me, but at least life gives me a little break now and then to catch up. This week, though, man we've been running.

Monday, Maria and Fiona came to visit and Nico went no nap and went to bed over an hour late. The kids had fun wrecking havoc on the house and bringing shame to us when we took them out in public for lunch. They seem to encourage bad behavior in one another whenever they are together and there are rules involved. At least they had fun and Maria and I got to have adult conversation.

Yesterday, I started my regular schedule of watching baby H while his mama went to school. He's a great little guy, but Nico was not used to having to share in my attentions and didn't get why I couldn't just leave baby H in a corner while we played blocks or puzzles. If he didn't look so forlorn, it might have been funny. When I had to put down the baby for his nap, Nicolas kept walking in to tell me that he missed me. *Sigh* It might end up doing Nicholas some good in the long run by teaching him that my focus cannot be on him entirely at all times and that there is a rule of priority that dictates how most of us allot our time (stopping a bleeding head wound is a greater priority than finding the red crayon; going to the bathroom tops taking the cushions off the couch to make a car ramp), but it is still difficult for me.

Well, I better wake up the monster now; he's overslept his normal wake up time by an hour-and-a-half now. That and it looks like he had finally done some irreparable damage to my keyboard and my spacebar (that now only works half the time) is driving me crazy.

Today is the first day I'm watching baby H. It's crazy. I must be crazy. There is now more than one child under my care and they are both in totally different patterns. Must go . . . be back . . . later

Joe and I have been engaged in the project of decluttering our house for what seems like months now. It began when I started reading all of these voluntary simplicity books. Wait, it began when I saw Affluenza on PBS. Okay, it doesn't really matter when I started in all this, what matters is that we are finally making headway on the whole getting-rid-of-crap-in-our-house project. Everything I had read on simplifying your life said the first step was to rid yourself of all superfluous goods. So that is what we've been doing. Who knew we had this much junk that we didn't mind giving away or throwing away or burning or playing baseball with? I have spent the last three days (about an hour each day, not the whole three days - I have a toddler after all) on my closet alone and it is probably going to take at least another week. I have a huge pile of stuff to drag to Goodwill or Freecycle this week. Another glaring realization in this whole process is how much stuff we have paid money for that we are never going to use or that broke or that we already had too many/much of. The best part, though, is that now I can find stuff! My school papers are not buried under last week's Sunday crossword. Nicholas' art supplies are in their own boxes and not shoved into my closet, hidden under my laundry bag that needs to go to the dry cleaners. My CD's are on a shelf where I can see them all! I'm so excited. I know it's crazy, but I am REALLY happy with this.

All that being said, I am still a little pissed off with myself for another reason. To start it off, Joe and I watched Fight Club last night. I picked it out due to my recent foray into soap making. Beside that, I identify with this movie (*cough* I know it was a book *cough*) on so many other points; I have chronic insomnia, I used to work only third-shift jobs, my ex and I used to box each other for fun. . . However, I must not have seen the movie in a long time because I realized that some of the negative things they were saying were about me. Damn it. They speak negatively of all of us IKEA and catalog addicts who spend their lives sequestered in their homes and their time taking care of their material possessions. More importantly the main character articulated the idea that people spend so much time acquiring and organizing and cleaning so that they can be comfortable that that area of their lives is under their control while the rest of the world spins out. Wow, that is so me. And I still love this movie.

I have had this song stuck in my head for days now. The band is from Austin, so as soon as it starts escaping my brain, I get to hear it a ton on the radio. It's a great song, don't get me wrong, but I'm getting kind of embarrassed by the shaking of my groove thing at the grocery store to music no one hears.

"I Turn My Camera On"

My mom just sent me these pictures of the place where we are staying in Italy. Looks pretty okay.

A view of the side of the villa we are staying at. It is the guest building at an olive orchard.


The pool that will be too cold to swim in when we get there


The front of the building


A view of one of the rooms


And the hearth


Okay, I'm starting to freak out a little about this trip. Sure, it sounded fun a few months ago when we were planning it, but how am I going to handle a three year-old on a 15 hour plane ride and three weeks in another country without my husband?

Shocking as it is, my carefree days with Nicholas are about to suffer a drastic change. Starting next Tuesday, my friend Annie's baby is going to be with us during the day while his mama goes to school. Yes, I'm signing up to watch a ten month-old. Don't get me wrong, I love baby H, but I have a feeling that the groove Nico and I have developed will take a turn, that I won't be able to get as much done during the day, that *gasp* I may have to start planning ahead for things. Shortly after that change, Nicholas goes back to preschool three days a week. Changes abound over here. I wonder how long it is going to take for all of this to be normal. Despite how hard all of it is going to be at first, I suppose that having all this will be an improvement on our lazy/useless days of summer. The pattern will come back to our days, there will be less TV, I will become much more efficient with my time, but there will also be fewer days laying in the backyard, no more sprinkler time, no more impromptu trips to the park or the ice cream shop. *Sigh* Benefits and disadvantages to things moving on.

Son of a bitch. I just got two messages of blog spam in the last twenty minutes. This is why I stopped allowing anonymous comments. They still find a way. You'd think that if I make it this hard for them to post they would get the hint that I think they're evil and vile and would rather stomp on their product and set fire to it than purchase it from this insidious method of marketing.

Just got back from taking the little guy to the Children's Museum. Amazingly, it's the first time we've ever been and Nicholas is three now. He loved it, I had an easy time relaxing because it wasn't too busy, and it was AIR CONDITIONED. If I wasn't already married, I would consider wedding this place. They had an exhibit where you throw golf balls down an inlet and it is carried all over the room by a series of tubes. There was another exhibit on recycling plastic that showed the process from the grocery store to a return trip to the dairy. It was oddly interactive. It was also not so big that Nicholas was overwhelmed. We still spent about two hours there. One irritation, and I know that it is just because he is three and is going through this control thing, but Nicholas didn't let me play with anything! As immature as it sounds, I wanted to play too. Some of the exhibits were awesome. Maybe next time. . . or maybe I'll go by myself. Wouldn't that teach him :).

I should know better in this heat, but I went to our neighborhood park and skated the trails. It really isn't even that great of a distance, three miles, but I forgot my water bottle in the car and it's about 110 degrees. By the time I got back to my vehicle, I was able to down a full 20 ounce bottle and get started on another before I drove off. Sad how out of shape I've gotten in just a few months, but I think I'm going to put off the outdoor activities for another few. And my gym membership is no longer so I'm going to be all soft and squishy by the time it cools down enough for me to start running again. For now, it's all I can do NOT to throw-up.

Sometime yesterday, Joe and I were talking about our individual nemesis - who our arch-enemy really is. At first we had quite lofty ideas that reflected our ideals of society; we fought against polluters, against over-consumption, against non-representational government and cruelty to living beings. None of them seemed to be the close-in, constant, and personal battle we were looking for. So, in the end, we discovered that the thing (or things I should say) that cause us the most direct aggravation, that must be fought against over and over and that we always have to look over our shoulder for are mosquitoes, laundry, and yard work. Makes me wonder what our superpowers would be.

Pfft, out drinking with the parenting group again. A true showcase of modern parenting and the only time I drink now, post-baby. It was fun, I had two "Clockwork orange" martinis which consist of freshly-squeezed orange juice, Grey Goose vodka, and Cointreau and a Fat Tire ale. I know, a little much. That is what having a good time gets you, though. They get you all liquored up and then get you to "volunteer" for bake sales. Malicious suburbanite moms . . . sounded like fun at the time.

AAAAaaaaaaa!!! I'm going to be such a sad little groupie here, but one of my favorite authors is coming into town! Neil Gaiman is coming next month to sign copies of his new book Anansi Boys at a local bookstore. I'm a sad groupie because I can't go. It's on a Monday night and most people will spend most of the day waiting in line. I have a toddler, so for me it's not an option. However, I think a drive-by in the evening might be a neccesity :). He's a gothic-fantasy-type author so probably not everyone's cup of tea, but I like it. He wrote the Sandman series for those out there who read comics and two of my favorites Neverwhere and Good Omens (with Terry Pratchett).

This weekend I felt the almost imperceptible shift to autumn begin. I can't exactly put my finger on it, it certainly is as hot as ever, but something happened this weekend to let me know that the end is in sight. The sensation that summer is drawing to a close. I made myself a cup of hot coffee with cinnamon and muscavado sugar instead of having it iced or drinking from the pitcher of green tea in the fridge. I started work on my wool scarf and looked at winter coats for Nico. My garden is ready to be interred into the soil it came up out of. My flower beds, while overrun with weeds from late summer rains, are starting to bloom with mums and daisies. I'm thrilled with the change. Summer hangs on too long around here and leaves a sense of agitation and impatience in it's wake.

It seems as if I have gotten to the point now where my life seems to be in fast forward. I can't remember last week because this weekend has been so busy that memories of what I was thinking or doing have to be pushed out or my brain will hit overdrive. The weekend before that may or may not have happened for all I know. I'm really hoping that when the days of summer come to a close, my family will return to the relaxed groove of things and everything will start crawling by again. Who knew that I would ever be longing for the days of scheduling and day planners? I'm partly to blame for this; I'm the one who feels the need to do so much. Okay, I'm mostly to blame, but soon Nico will be back in school and I'll have Annie's little guy over here during the day and all my committees will start again. That doesn't leave much time to go to the beach or visit our family or ride the train at the zoo. Where is the pause button in all of this? Why can't I stop the scene long enough to take it all in? I'm going to need to live to be two hundred (and still remain spry the entire time) to do all I want. Damn it.

*Yawn* Joe and I stayed up late last night watching Mallrats and, even though we woke up at the decent hour of nine in the morning, I'm quite tired. What is worse is that this means that the little guy also woke up at nine, just like yesterday . . . and the day before. This is bad only because he starts preschool in a few weeks and we really need to be getting his schedule in order (I would normally love it that he sleeps so late). I'm finding it quite hard to drag myself out of bed at that hour when there is the option to sleep, though.

My brother is back from Germany! I picked him up at the airport last night and got to hear about all of the cool stuff Berlin has to offer. He took in a ton of museums, a marionette show of Don Giovanni, and saw Philip Glass' Einstein on the Beach. I am green with envy over here. He also got to take a side trip to Prague and to the Kafka museum, both of which are on my top one-hundred things to do and see. I do feel a little sorry for him today. The poor boy is jetlagged like crazy and he starts back at work today. I heard him up and doing his laundry at four in the morning.

Today, we head out to Houston again. My sister-in-law's engagement party is today and so we have to make the trip. It will be nice to get my clothes back. It was too expensive to mail them.

Funny as all get out. I can't do a post because I am laughing so hard at this site:

Bad, Bad Baby Names

Busy, crazy week. This coming week doesn't look to empty either. In fact, this coming week I have finals that I'm supposed to be studying for right now, so I can't reminisce for too long. I've got to make an A in this class. Last week:

- Tuesday I hosted a playgroup for Nicholas' preschool class at Deep Eddy pool. I was sad that a lot of people had to cancel because they have little, little ones that they can't take around large bodies of water by themselves. However, we still had several families show up to play. One thing really pissed me off about the whole thing, though. People did not seem to realize that when I said the playdate was at 10 in the morning that that meant that they should be there somewhere close to that time. About the time I was ready to leave the first time, someone else showed up. Once I was ready to leave again, someone else would show up. I was there for about two-and-a-half hours when I had only intended to be the for about an hour. I was so sunburned by the time I got home and Nicholas was cranky. We have another playdate hosted by someone else tomorrow and I don't know how keen my little one is going to be on doing this all over again.

- Wednesday, Nico and I went out with some friends to a peach orchard and picked peaches. This is the last weekend the place is open, so despite being exhausted from the day before, we went. The peach orchard is run by the Buddhist temple next door and you can tour the grounds after you've filled your basket with peach goodness. There were peacocks and beautiful gardens. It was great. The only problem we ran into was that it was very hot and very humid outside and Nicholas wanted me to carry him the entire time because of it. Nicholas and I have been eating peaches all week and made peach chutney and we still have peaches left over. I'm wondering how long they're going to last.

- Thursday was not fun. Nico had to get a hepatitis A vaccination so he can enroll in preschool this year and I had to take him. I hate it when my baby gets shots. Joe was kind enough to come along and he held Nicholas while the nurse shot him up. He cried bloody murder until the nurse offered him a Blue's Clues sticker and then all was fine. We then went out to lunch with some friends and Nico had a cookie and a gumball. I think the little guy ended up satisfied for the day. I did not. The fact that we got our new passports in the mail and my photo ended up making me look like a drug-addicted criminal didn't help.

- Friday, nothing. Really. It rained all day and our plans to go out were cancelled.

- Saturday I made soap. It was so cool. My friend Annie picked me up in the morning and we went over to other friend Geoff's house and he taught us how to make soap. Not the melt and pour junk. Real soap. With lye. We spent most of the day over there and I had a great time. Between batches of soap we ate olives and looked at the new IKEA catalogue and talked about being grown-ups. My soap mix was lavender, lemongrass, and rosemary. Annie did a mix of peppermint, spearmint, and eucalyptus. Geoff ended up with clove, cinnamon, and orange. We unmold sometime this week. Geoff's neighbors must have thought we were running a meth lab or something because we had to mix the lye-water in the breezeway. There we were with a big stainless steel bucket that smelled incredibly caustic and was smoking in rubber gloves and goggles. Crazy.

- Sunday, cleaned and tried to get the house in order. My house is still a mess even though we spent most of the day working on it.

That was my last week. Now I really have to get my act together because I have essays to write and my book group is meeting tonight and I have my final to finish up and we are going to San Antonio on Wednesday. In addition, my brother is coming home this weekend and I need to get his car's oil changed since I borrowed it so much while he was gone and finish steam cleaning the carpets in his room. AND . . . my sister-in-law's engagement party is this weekend in Houston, so gifts must be bought and cards made and luggage packed. Crap I'm busy sometimes.

Of course, this isn't normal. I am a pretty boring person after all. I think everything happens at once in my life; it isn't kind enough to spread itself out over a reasonable period of time.

So, my trip to Louisiana . . . It wasn't really all that exciting. The one exciting thing that happened was - Joe left all of our clothes there. I know, not even good exciting. Here is the low-down:

We drove in Friday night and arrived in Houston at about 11. Nicholas was still awake, he didn't go to sleep until almost one in the morning. We were all in one bed, which Nico has grown away from apparently because he spent the entire night trying to get either me or Joe off of the bed by way of kicks and shoves. I wasn't too chipper the next morning, but I woke up at about 7:30 to a quiet and still asleep house. I took this opportunity to do my very extensive homework assignment for psych class. One pot of coffee and half of the paper later, my child and husband rolled out of bed. After a breakfast of cookies and yogurt (our in-laws weren't going to be home until later that day so the cupboard was bare), we headed out to IKEA. Surprisingly, I did not spend my son's college fund in a fit of IKEA induced frenzy. I walked away with some art supplies for Nicholas, some mounting brackets for the curtains in our room, and some kid dishes. I wanted to get a bookshelf that I found in the "as-is" section, but it was already assembled and just wouldn't fit in our compact car that way. Too bad because it was really cheap and we sorely need one right now. Nothing much for the rest of the day. The in-laws arrived back from their side trip to help my sister-in-law clear out her old apartment and my brother-in-law, Jon, drove in from Austin. We watched Hitch and ate some newly-acquired junk food. Hitch wasn't too bad, cute for what it was. We got to bed at midnight this time with the instruction that we were to be ready to leave for Lake Charles at 8 the next morning. Right . . . I hadn't even had a shower yet. I got up the next morning at eight, exactly when I told my aggrieved in-laws that I was waking up. They were still there and still getting ready. I proceeded to shower, wake up my two boys, and feed the guys breakfast. We were on the road at about 9:15 . . . about forty-five minutes behind my in-laws, but without a birthday gift. Never fear, the whole branch of the family was without a birthday gift. A quick phone call exchange and the decision to pool our money on a digital camera was reached. My in-laws offered to pick one up on the way, bridging the gap between our leaving times. We ended up arriving about fifteen minutes after they did. Lots of food and laughter later and we were back on our way to Houston. Nicholas spent the entire time playing with the pool table and was generally surly to anyone who distracted him from this task at hand. When we got back to Houston, Joe and I made the decision to return to Austin. We both wanted to stay and hang out with the family, but the desire for a good night's sleep won out. By the time we had gotten home, Joe and I had almost nine hours of driving under our belt in a single day. Waking up the next morning was disheartening because, while I slept a million times better and actually felt like I might be alive, I realized Joe had forgotten our laundry bag which contained all my comfiest clothes. They are being mailed to us. How odd is that?

So that was my trip. Not too bad. I really had fun with Joe's family even though they are totally insane. We are heading back in two weeks for an engagement party. Let's just see how soon our personalities can wear on each other.