Walking Backwards

Drama following me around lately.  I have enough stress in my life already without having to worry about bad things happening.  I would just like to continue on in ignorant bliss that disease and death are not inevitable.  I hate thinking about it.  First, my father called me this weekend and gave me me two bits of bad information.  My brother's cat, Shadow, died last Thursday.  The same day, my grandmother was admitted to the hospital with heart faliure that was apparently a complication of pleurisy.  She was completely delerious and is not thought to ever be able to return to her home.  I am hoping to go down to see her next week, but we have to wait for her to get out of intensive care.  Joe and I had health screenings this week, too.  My blood pressure is still high, but the surprise was Joe's cholesterol level.  He is enough above the highest reccommended level for me to worry and nag him about going on a diet.  He also has to go in for a cancer screening next week.  I don't want to talk about it, I don't even want to think about it.   So that's all been in the last couple of days.  Sheesh.


For some good news, I finally got all my holds cleared up at ACC and am now registered for Spanish this fall.  It will be so nice to go back to school, even if it is community college.  Maybe we can afford more of the big college in a couple of years :).  I'm just happy to be working toward my teaching certificate and my bachelors.  I have so many jumbled credits that I don't honestly know how close to getting my degree I am.  That'll teach me to change my major in my junior year.  I do know that I haven't finished my forigen language requirement, so I have the next few semesters accounted for.

Its been almost a week since I have written, but I haven't really had anything good to say.  I started the South Beach Diet on Wednesday and have been unusually surly and ill-tempered because of it.  I just want a damn peach or strawberry.  It is the summer after all.  I only have another week and a half of being without fruit, but this has been the longest four days.  It also doesn't help that I have a deep dislike for eggs, which the diet recommends you eat every morning.  I have been eating them, but I am hoping to find an alternative.  The only options I can see are salad or grilled chicken.  I guess I can have lunch for breakfast since we used to have breakfast for dinner.  I am just ready to actually see that I've lost weight, maybe I'll be more motivated then.  It also sucks that I am the only person in this house that is on the diet.  I almost passed out when I made Nico French Toast for breakfast yesterday.  It smelled like cinnamon and vanilla and goodness in the kitchen for so long I had to stop going near there.  I also made Joe cookies to take into work today for the monthly weekend work-day.  I couldn't even eat one.  Man, this better be worth it.  I already have a weeks worth of food planned for when this phase is over.  While you can only add whole grains and fruit, I am ready for those days to come.  I don't know how long you are supposed to be on phase two until you hit phase three (maybe I should actually finish the book), but I hope its not too long.  Is it so wrong to love bread so much?


Joe's paycut was finally instated this week.  It is going to suck not having that extra money every month.  We were just wasting it anyway, but still.  I am not really good at budgeting money and neither is Joe.  I guess we are going to have to get better at it rather quickly.  It wouldn't be so bad if Nicholas wasn't going into preschool this fall and adding that extra payment to our monthly expenses.  I may not be able to go to work right away either, as I am enrolling in school next semester (if they take the stupid administrative hold off of my records).  I hope that all ends well.  If only we could pay off those infernal credit cards :).  I think we are stuck with them for the rest of our lives, though.


We bought a tent today in hopes that we'll be able to go camping soon.  Joe has been promising to take me camping since we first started dating and now I hope he feels obligated to.  Before you laugh about how I was just lamenting my budget woes and now I am going out and wasting money, my mother-in-law gave me the money last Christmas to buy camping supplies and we are just now getting around to it.  We probably won't go camping until next spring, but we bought the tent because it was an end of the season sale and therefore super cheap.  I've never been camping before in my life and don't know what to expect.  Everyone has told me that I am going to hate it, but I don't know.  I hate bugs and dirt, but I love living primitively (yes I DO!) and I love being out in nature.  We shall see how I fare.

Busy weekend to say the least. Saturday, we went to San Antonio to visit with my dad as well as see Mark, Maria, and Fiona. Visiting my dad is always great because we are never at a loss for anything to talk about. He took us to this wrap sandwich restaurant the rocked. Their vegetarian selections were so wonderful. We spent most of the day with Mark and Maria. The babies played next to each other and Nicholas was constantly trying to kill himself. Maria and I rented Love Actually and bought a ton of junk food while Joe and Mark went to see Spiderman 2. Love Actually was good, but I did have a few problems with the story. I know that not everything could be resolved, but its hard to sit through a movie and have so many unfinished story lines. Also, any story that features the subject of adultery is hard to watch. Joe liked Spiderman 2, but he thought the first one was better. It was good to see him get out by himself. We need to do that more often. Nicholas wouldn't take his nap, but fell asleep in the car about two seconds after we put him in his car seat. He was super cranky for the last hour we were at Maria's. We didn't get home until almost one in the morning. Sunday, we decided to skip church and run errands. We went to the book store, Michael's, and Target (I'm still trying to find a way to stop shopping here, but I can't find a local business that seels most of this stuff). Target had all of its garden stuff on clearance. We bought a gazebo for 70 percent off. Here is a picture (Nicholas felt like sliding in the shade):



I need to be on the look out for backyard furniture now that I have some shade to sit in :).


In other news, I am going to start the South Beach Diet next week. I was originally going to start today, but after getting the book this weekend, I'm discovering that I have a bit more prep work to do than I thought. I feel so guilty about joining the ranks of those who have subjected themselves to a fad diet. I used to lecture people about how horrible these diets are when I worked in the nutrition department at Whole Foods. I have to say that the foundations of this diet (so far as I have read) are principles of eating that I had always thought were a good idea. I also am having problems with uncontrolled blood sugar and uncontrolled blood pressure. These are the main reasons that I have chosen to do this. I just want to get healthier. Losing the weight won't be so bad either. In addition to the exercise I have been doing, I should be able to keep up with my son in no time (I would have thought that the exercise alone would have helped that, but alas). Wish me luck.


Catherine and Riley came over this weekend, as well, to work on the baby shower invitations. We didn't get much done, but are starting to realize that we may be going a little overboard considering the number of people that Annie has on her guest list. We still have quite a bit of time before the big event, but the details are taking us a bit longer than expected. I'm beginning to think that co-hosting this event was a bad idea. I love Annie, but this is a much larger production than I was anticipating. I don't know if I am able to do it. We also spent some time trying to persuade Catherine and Riley to move across the street. I don't think that they were going to go for it, though :). We just need neighbors that we like.


Well, I'm off to get the big, bad Depo shot and put off thinking about more kids for another year. Fun, Fun.

Okay, no more memes for today. This is it :)


Damn is this frighteningly close:

20 Questions to a Better Personality


Wackiness: 50/100
Rationality: 56/100
Constructiveness: 72/100
Leadership: 44/100


You are an SRCF--Sober Rational Constructive Follower. This makes you a White House staffer. You are a tremendous asset to any employer, cool under pressure, productive, and a great communicator. You feel the need to right wrongs, take up slack, mediate disputes and keep the peace. This comes from a secret fear that business can't go on without you--or worse, that it can.

If you have a weakness, it is your inability to say "no." While your peers respect you, they find it difficult to resist taking advantage of your positive attitude and eagerness to take on work. You depend on a good manager to keep you from sinking under the weight and burning out.

This week's Unconscious Mutterings

I say and you think . . .

1. Resignation :: quitting
2. Coupling :: sex
3. Grounded :: level headed
4. Habit :: nun
5. Chainsaw :: Massacre
6. Rental :: Condo
7. Deleted :: Erased
8. Online personals :: lies
9. Penguin :: suit
10. Offend :: piss off

Yay, I have a tan!! Well, sort of. I am not as disturbingly pale as I was last week, and am the closest to a tan I have been since I was twelve. I was able to handle the sun today by hitting the pool with some of our friends. The water was so nice, I was able to tolerate the Texas heat. My uncle would always make fun of my brother and I for our supreme paleness whenever we would see him in Seattle. He was more tan than we were and he lived in a city that was overcast seventy-five percent of the time. I told him we would go out more if it was overcast and no more then eighty-five degrees here during the summer. Instead, since we live in a city where the sun is blazingly hot and the temperatures regularly reach into the hundreds in late summer. Well, at least I got a little more freckled before we were driven inside.


Travis and I got to see subterranean 2 this week. I liked it, and going to the movies with Travis was fun. Dr. Octopus was presented wonderfully. I never really appreciated his character in the comic books, but the stories that he was featured in were some of the best. I think the movie was about on par with the first, but I do wish the story would get on with Spiderman's soul-searching and allow the character to show his sense of humor. They, of course, opened the door for a sequel in a not-so-subtle way. Travis told me that Tobey Mcquire had signed on for something like four films. I don't know if its true, but I wouldn't be surprised. We both were hoping that Venom would be the next enemy, but it doesn't look like it.


We're heading down to San Antonio this weekend to see my dad and visit Maria and Fiona. It will be nice to get out of the house. For the past few weekends we have had visitors here, instead. I like having people over, but lately I seem to turn into the overbearing and frazzled hostess. I suppose it may have something to do with the fact that Joe is home now and that I am expecting more from him. He just assumes I have it under control. We just need to get into the same groove of things and we'll be fine. Maybe we need a weekend break, too :).


For a bit of light entertainment, we have been getting ready to start potty training Nicholas. Part of this preparation includes letting him run around without a diaper on so he can grow accustomed to his body's signals. Today, he reminded us how wonderful having that diaper is. He peed all over the cat while she was sleeping in the rocking chair.

I finally got to see Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban today. Nicholas and I went to Alamo Drafthouse's baby day. He was terribly behaved, but it was okay because everyone there had kids who each had their turn in behaving terribly. He spent most of his time roaming the aisles and "interacting" with the movie. Every time a bird flew by on the screen, he would exclaim "Bird!". Every time anyone applauded on screen, he would clap along. Halfway through he started rolling up the center aisle. Strangely enough, one woman came up to me and told me my son was the cutest thing ever. I have got to do that again.


Speaking of going out, we actually made it out of the house and went to Whole Foods to watch the fireworks. Nicholas watched the first five go off, and then returned his attention to going up and down the stairwells. Joe and I traded off walking him up the ramps and stairs, avoiding the crowds of people, and watching the fireworks. I had never seen the downtown fireworks up close and they were amazing. From the roof of the parking garage they looked so close. It was amazing to watch the refection in all of the glass buildings surrounding us.


I feel so guilty. For the first time in a long time, I have been enjoying clothes shopping. Joe and I got our cafeteria plan reimbusrement and decided to use the money for things that we need. We hadn't bought clothes for ourselves in a very long time. I had gotten a few items, but most of my clothes were falling apart. Joe's wardrobe was also in desperate need of revival. We ended up going to Old Navy and Kohl's. Lucky us, we walked into some of the biggest sales of the year. Who knew? We also got some clothes for the short one, too. We got enough stuff to last us for quite some time. I am also looking forward to our trip to Ikea later this year. Joe and I are going to talk to our investment broker about setting up a 529 plan for Nicholas, because I want him to have more than just his savings account. Having this extra money outside of our strict, one-income budget has been pleasant. It has also made me more conscious about what we are spending money on. I never expected that when I decided to stay at home with Nicholas and leave my job, we would have to be so careful and cut so many corners. I also didn't realize how much money we were wasting before. Ah, the power of hindsight. I wouldn't change the way things are now for anything.

Happy Fourth Of July! One of my least favorite holidays, but a holiday none the less. We are supposed to go out with my brother this evening and watch the fireworks downtown. It sounds like fun, but I can imagine getting there isn't going to be pleasant. They started closing down some of the feeder roads at one o'clock this afternoon to make extra parking for the fireworks display. We don't have to go into the thick of things, though. We are going to the top of the parking garage at my brother's work, which looks over all of downtown. I am also going to get to see some of my former co-workers, so that should be fun. I hope Nicholas likes it, he does rather enjoy loud noises. We have already had a full enough day that I would like to just lay around and watch movies, but we can save that for tomorrow. Somehow, Joe gets an extra off of work.


The bathroom is almost finished being painted, finally. We still have the wall over the sinks, but since we are going to rip a big hole in it to put the light fixture up, we figured we could wait to paint that until last. I love the color so much, a sky blue ceiling and lavender walls. We still need to pick up the new switch plates and fixtures, but I am really enjoying looking at my bathroom now. After all of the fixtures are up we get to rip out the carpet and stain and texturize the cement. Then come the baseboards and the cabinets. It seems as if this project is never going to end, but its great when we get one step of it done. It is making me a little hesitant about taking on any new home improvement tasks. Even though I really want to re-do my bedroom, I know how much work it is going to be. That knowledge alone is enough to stay my hand for a bit.