Walking Backwards

While I think the intent behind the holiday season is to bring out the best in every individual, I don't feel that the reality of it works out that way. Expectations for ourselves and for everyone else just raises frustrations and fosters an environment for disappointment. Expectations lead us to do things we don't really want to do and probably won't enjoy just to satisfy someone else's idea of an 'ideal' holiday. Yes, this is the year we visit the in-laws. This year we drive for hours to celebrate Christmas in three locales over the course of four days. It really isn't fun. It saps us of our energy and leaves our son in a fit by the end. It does not leave us in the Christmas spirit. Worse is that the preparation for this has already begun; the phone calls back and forth, the wish lists sent, the last minute corrections after you already ordered something, the decision by the in-laws to substitute the loud, battery-eating, electronic game monster instead of the requested board game, the patching of the air-mattresses. Already. Our calm and quiet lives disrupted for the consumer holiday that Christmas has become. But it is important to them, to the in-laws, that it happen this way. That they can show their love in the manner that they grew up with and that they want to rekindle in their grandchildren. So I forgive them and sigh and drink a little more wine in the evenings. The trade-off reward is the phone call the week after from the exhausted, but happy mother-in-law who tells me how wonderful my four-year old is and how much he looks like his father. I only have to make it through. So here come the holidays. Brace yourselves.