Walking Backwards

We are now taking a deep breath and seeing where we stand. Nicholas and I, that is. Today is the first day of summer for us. Yesterday was just a trial run. The first day of summer has always held possibilities for me. When I was younger and my best friends lived right down the street, every summer day was filled with play and art and imagination. I remember sitting in my backyard in the late afternoon, drinking Hi-C fruit punch and trading Lisa Frank stickers. We would make up our own games, pretending we were animals with special powers, catching bugs in the backyard. It wasn't entirely idyllic, but as I get older and further from those times, the bad parts don't seem to be what my mind wants to hold on to.

Now, I have my own child, I realize how lucky I was. The neighborhood we are in now does not have many children. I haven't seen any who are Nicholas' age. The quest for playmates and friends seems harder, for both of us. So the summers for us, while not entirely alone, are lonely. This year is especially bad because, when we said goodbye to his preschool, we said goodbye for good. We'll have a couple of playdates over the summer, I'm sure, but I know that we all have to go on with our lives.

So today starts the time when we are setting new plans and making a new course. What is important for us, what do we want to do. Do we want to visit art museums and talk about the beauty of man or do we want to spend time in the parks in the heat and witness the beauty of nature? Do we want to do it all or do we want to sit inside and enjoy the fleeting moments of calm? We'll make our decision as we make our way through the summer.