Walking Backwards

Today I was cleaning my house, which is a never ending process around here really, and I realized that since having my son and starting school again and watching kids, that I have really let a lot of things go that I thought were important before. I used to be freakish about having everything clean and even though it bothers me now not to have everything spotless, I'm okay with my dirt. I also have come to accept that with children comes clutter. I've relaxed my standards and I'm coming to accept it. I never thought I would give my child candy, but now he gets some form of it most days if you include his vitamins. If you don't include his Yummie Bears, he gets candy at least twice a week. I now have days where I don't shower and don't notice it. I used to get manicures because it would keep me from biting my nails, now all I have left are stumps for fingers. I used to run and do pilates and ballet, now I sit on the couch and eat cookies. Instead of going to film society functions we go to preschool birthday parties now. Amazing that I'm happier with life than I've been in awhile, but I am.

School tonight was murder and my house smells of cilantro, so I think I am going to sit on the couch and watch television and eat green curry soup and be happy with where I am and write more later or tomorrow.