Walking Backwards

Monday morning Nicholas woke up with a low-grade fever, so I decided to keep him home from school for the day. I'm worried now about the probability, with all of the problems he has had recently with allergies, that he might have a sinus infection. I kept him home, though, because he didn't feel well and I don't want him away from those who can comfort him when he isn't feeling up to it. Because of keeping him home, I missed the meeting with the director of his preschool. Today, I had to go up to the school to drop off some paperwork and check-in with the fundraising committee since I have a lot of work to do for them that I have fallen behind on. I was hoping to be able to leave Nicholas for a little bit while I caught up on some school work, but it just wasn't in the cards for us today.

While we were making our dramatic, tantruming exit, the director met up with me and asked for a few minutes of my time to talk. So I agreed to have the talk with her that I have been dreading for weeks, the "what to do with Nicholas next year" talk. I explained to her how Nicholas doctor thinks that holding him back would not be a good idea for him developmentally and how his therapist thinks that holding him back will not do anything at all to solve his problems. She is coming from a different place, it seems, than we are. She doesn't just have Nicholas to consider, after all, and suggested that we either hold Nicholas back for the year or have him not attend school next year. I understand her position, she is quite right that the school is not able to give Nicholas the individual attention that he needs to make it through the next year and that his class will have more students in it and the teacher will have more constraints put upon her time. She did agree to leave it open to discussion until we have him observed by his therapist while he is in school, so that we have a better idea of where he is going and what he is going to need.

So now, more waiting. I think that now, more than anything, I just want this to be resolved. As it is, Joe and I are both being consumed with this problem. We don't know exactly where we stand or what to do next. I wish that there was an easy solution to it all, but it just seems that there isn't. I'm looking forward to the day when this isn't what I think about all the time.