Walking Backwards

I just got back from our little trip less than an hour ago. I thirsty and exhausted so I'm not going to go into great detail about our trip now. It would end up one muddled, convoluted run-in sentence. Instead I am briefly going to speak out against the newest craze here in Texas (and probably elsewhere in the southern United States) of putting magnetic ribbons on your car with sayings such as "We support our troops" and "God bless the USA". These people must be insane to think that their buying a ribbon from Walgreens manufactured in some sweatshop overseas makes them somehow more patriotic than the rest of us who, you know, vote and speak out about issues that are important to us. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm sure that some of these people are politically active in their own way, however, I don't think that putting a red, white, and blue piece of plastic on your car should count for any sort of statement, which some people think it does. I think that the guy who made this magnet had the right idea:

Off to Louisiana now in my improved but still not fixed car. I'm hoping to take lots of pictures and have lots if fun. Be back Tuesday.

I really want this shirt. REALLY. I don't know why.

I'm starting this entry at the tail-end of Nicholas' nap, so it is probably not going to be finished until I'm about ready to go to bed. That is how things have been going around here lately. I don't know who coined the phrase terrible-twos, but that person obviously did not have an over-achieving three year-old like I do. I would go through all of two over again just to not have to be stuck in three-world anymore. Now he has verbal AND reasoning ability and is using both to his advantage. I never expected to have to deal with manipulation so young. *Sigh* It is only with me, though, his other caretakers think he is an angel. He has them so snowed.

My car is still in the shop. We're going on day five now. I called them this morning and asked when I could pick up my car and they told me that not all the parts had arrived yet. I have no idea what that means as I didn't even know that new parts were needed. Who knows what is going on with my car. I am also eagerly awaiting the bill for my car's five day vacation at the four-star resort known as the Saturn dealership. Especially since they told me that they couldn't find what was causing my problem, they are just going to do an all-over maintenance. I have a feeling that my credit card is about to get a little heavier when I pick up the car tomorrow afternoon. At least Joe and I have decided against the new car for now, this one is eating up our down-payment.

Things on the home-front haven't been easy lately, either. Joe has been working a lot and hasn't been available. I've fallen into some sort of unproductive rut that I can't seem to get out of. I want to lay around the house and do nothing, but I feel bad that my house looks so awful and nothing is getting accomplished. I'm also having anxiety problems again. Imagine thinking about a hundred things you have to do, but being unable to accomplish any of them. It's frustrating. I'm really eager to snap out of it, but I don't seem to have the impetus at the moment. Grrrrr, I know this mood is phasic in me, that it comes and goes, but I have too much going on to not do anything. Maybe getting off the computer right now would be a good start :).

Nothing at all is going on here. Really, nothing. I still haven't gotten my car back from the dealership, so Nico and I have been spending our time laying around in the backyard in our underwear. Is it just me or does the middle of the summer drag a little bit? August picks up a bit right before school starts, but the last few weeks have been killing me. What to do, what to do?

Old school punk! You just say what you have to say
regardless of what everyone else thinks!
You're one of my most favourite types of
music... You're raw and uncut! You're
surrounded by hype...just don't let it make you
go insane...


What genre of rock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Not a good week so far. I started doing the photo tour of my day yesterday, but then I totally forgot I was doing it around one, so only half of my day was captured. This, however, cannot be remedied right now because the batteries in the camera are dead. This afternoon my car started acting really funny. It keeps hesitating and won't go above 30 MPH. I called the dealership to see when I can take it in, but they don't do warranty work on the weekend. The next appointment they have is on Tuesday. I hope nothing serious is wrong because we are supposed to be going to Louisiana on Friday and kind of need our car to get there. Joe went on call this week and his pager woke me up at 2 and 4 in the morning. I'm out of coffee. I got a mosquito bite on my forehead. I'm hoping things get better fast. I do have a big Hershey's chocolate bar to make me happy if it doesn't.

A shiny new cable modem now sits atop our server rack and I have an internet connection again. Yay! I have lots to blog about, but before I get into the events of the last weekend, I have to go over something that has been really pissing me off all day. Nico and I had a playdate this morning with the children/mothers from his preschool. This year there are four new families that are entering his class and one of the new mothers is the "room representative" who handles all of the planning and scheduling for the class. She was the host for today's gathering. Well, all morning, from the moment I got there, she keeps bringing up my yahoo username which I used to sign up to the class' group. The username is "conqubine6710". Okay, it's kind of strange, but I've seen weirder. I know it is misspelled and I have my reasons for picking it and misspelling it (the numbers have meaning too, but that's not important). The moment the room mother meets me she says that she was expecting someone more exotic with a name like that. I laugh the first bit off and then start talking to the other mothers that I knew from last year. She sees me again later and then says that I'm a little plain for such an exciting handle. When she brings it up a third time, I realize that she is an ass an needs to be completely ignored. Who tells the mother of a toddler that she is plain and lacks interest?! This woman apparently does not understand how difficult it is for me to reconcile my former self, where I admit I was more, um, interesting, with my current chasing-after-a-toddler-and-living-in-pajamas self. I cannot understand how a woman who I don't know could be so spiteful. Kate, one of the other parents from last year, was kind enough to tell me that she thought I was about as exotic as a parent comes. I know she was being nice, but, damn it, mothers should build each other up rather than tear each other down to make ourselves feel better about who we are. Go Kate!

Grrrr, now I'm all agitated again, so quick rundown of the past few days:

-Friday I dropped my brother off at the airport for his flight to Germany. He is going to be gone until the middle of next month studying at a university in Berlin. I have to say that, even though we have been getting on each other's last nerve lately, I miss him being here. Nico misses him a lot. He keeps asking when my brother is coming home. It makes me so sad when he says, "Uncle Bobee is at school. He's at school far, far away and won't be back for a long time" like it's his mantra.

- Saturday we met up with my dad for lunch and gossip and celebrated my friend Maria's birthday (after I bought the new Harry Potter book, of course). My dad was swell and gave me some great parenting advice. He basically told me not to worry so much. Great advice. We all had lunch in this dive of a sandwich shop that was so good and so cheap. We then went to Maria's for birthday festivities. Maria and I left the kids with the other parental units and headed to the San Antonio Museum of Art where we discussed very intellectual and adult things as well as the varying size of penises in Greek art. After returning back to her place we had dinner, cake, a watched a movie. Driving home after eleven at night was kind of difficult, but we made it back alive.

- Sunday we were supposed to go sailing, but it started pouring rain about the time we were supposed to leave for the lake. Instead we ended up being quite droll and cleaned the house and did laundry and sat around. I read. Nico played. Joe, I'm sure, did something.

So that is all my excitement. I know I'm no feeling too exotic at the moment either ;). I'm working on a photo essay of a regular day in my life, so look for that this week. If only I get my flickr stream working properly . . .

Well, I haven't slept the past few nights, but I finished Harry Potter. Cried my eyes out for the last forty pages, too. I won't give anything away, but I do have to say that the books have been getting progressively darker with this one filled with bleakness and morbid overtones. I no longer think these books are written for children. Now, I'm off to nap with the little guy and then will write more later as I no longer have to avoid the internet for fear of spoilers.

I live such a boring life I don't have much to talk about. Except my recent obsession: I want a theremin! Go ahead and hit wixepedia. I can't explain it other than to say that the theremin is responsible for all of the horror movie soundtracks of the fifties and the sixties. Yay theremin!

That is pretty much it. I am going to try to catch up on blogs this week, so if I haven't commented on yours lately - look out :)

It has been such a long day that I can't believe it's over, but I'm so glad it is. After everything I've done today I think I'm finished for the weekend, just laying on the couch for me, thank you. Well, this flurry of activity started Friday, so maybe that's why it feels like I've just been running marathon. Let me illuminate. Starting Friday I began the mad dash to clean the house and get all my baking done for the weekend. You see, Joe and I have been trading Saturdays off, and this Saturday was going to be his to lounge around and do what he wants all day without having to take care of the little one or worrying about household stuff. On those weekends I like to have all of my house stuff done ahead of time so that Nico and I can go run around and enjoy the weekend fun together. So on Friday I did five loads of laundry and dusted and cleaned and played cars and made cookies and baked brownies for an outing I had that night and cleaned off my desk and made a grocery list and did art projects with the little guy and cooked three meals and two snacks. I was tired by the end of the day.

About the time I was ready to fall down on the bed and start snoozing, Annie picked me up to go to a Raising Arizona viewing party that some of the mamas on one of my message boards was putting together. It turned out to be a load of fun, but I got home well after midnight. Nico woke up at seven-thirty, of course, and proceeded to demand breakfast from me. This was quite difficult as I found myself almost completely unable to open my eyes I was so tired. Damn Joe was still peacefully asleep. After a short while the husband left to go to bother the people at the motorcycle shop with questions and I sat at the computer and tried to shake myself awake while Nicholas screamed and threw things.

By the time I had woken up enough to brush my teeth and realize my pajama pants were on backwards, my brother-in-law called to inform me that my favorite cooking show guy in the whole world, Alton Brown, was going to be at the mall down the street today doing cooking demonstrations starting in half an hour. So I scramble to get myself and the baby in the car and rush to the mall. We find my brother-in-law and mill around for about forty-five minutes. Nico is getting restless because he has been in the stroller most of the time and it is getting really crowded. I am getting impatient. The publicity person from the event them comes around with flyers for the show and I find out that Alton is not going to come on for another three hours! I do not love him enough to brave that with a restless toddler, so instead I decide to hit the food sample fair down the hall. I got tons of coupons and samples, but the best by far was the Godiva chocolate booth. Free chocolate will always win. Nico got a dark chocolate heart filled with chocolate ganache and I splurged and bought a half a ring of pineapple dipped in dark chocolate instead of going for one of the free options. Ah, heaven (and all for the low, low cost of $1). So no Alton Brown, but yay for yummy chocolate.

The next stop was the farmer's market where it felt like approximately 157 million degrees outside. It was noon and there were no clouds in the sky either, so it was quite bright. I became disgruntled by the ever increasing prices and left with only a one pound bag of okra and a couple of peppers after twenty minutes. Apparently, several of the farms have been selling their produce to local, natural food markets and you can buy them cheaper there. I have no idea why, but those markets have air-conditioning, so I know where we will be heading for our veggies for a little while at least. When it cools down, the farmer's market has musicians and street performers and artists and the like, but most people do not want to brave the heat of summer so it is not as exciting. Until I have a reason to shop in the heat of the sun, I am taking the simpler and cooler option.

As we were leaving, my dad called to tell me he was at my house, so we swung back home. He brought me a big box of cookbooks from the eighties that he found packed away and thought that I might want. He also brought Nicholas and I Spurs t-shirts. Nico's is too big for him now, but I have a feeling it will fit by the time next season rolls around. We got to talk for awhile and then he helped me get our crib, crib mattress, and changing table down from the attic because, yes, I sold my crib! Murphy's law is now going to work against me and I'm going to get pregnant, but I really feel better clearing up the space. Especially considering that Joe and I are on the only-having-one-kid track right now. Of course, that is due to change any day with the indecisive nature of my husband and my current emotional state with all my friends either being pregnant or having babies.

After my dad left to go back to San Antonio, I spent most of the time talking to my mother on the phone about planning inter-European plane flights and feeling like my head was going to explode. Now I'm back on the computer waiting for CSI to start and rambling endlessly. Well, not really endlessly as I think I am now going to call it a night. Sleep well all.

I have been trying to do an entry for two days, but they all seem to have gotten sucked down the internet vortex. Now, I'm exhausted from another round of horrible classes (I don't think the teacher is supposed to be handing out republican propaganda) and I don't feel like doing a huge entry about my week. I do have some stuff to unload so my next entry doesn't become some epic poem that takes three months to read and is studied by university students for centuries to decipher the hidden meanings. So here it is:

First, pictures of the room/wall. It is not totally finished; I still have to paint another wall in the room, but the main, horribly-complicated-paint-job wall is done.





Second, tickets to Italy are on the way! Woohoo, a month-long trip to Italy is three months away and I am really getting excited. Having the little guy on the plane for fifteen hours, not so much. We are starting to prepare a care package for him to open on the plane with new toys and games and such, but who knows how long that will carry over. I'm thinking the portable DVD player is the way to go. We are also going to have a lay-over in New York so I get to see one of my favorite people in the whole world, Chris, for a few hours. I haven't seen him in three years and dearly miss the guy. Now to find luggage . . .

Thirdly and lastly, I am now off caffeine. Life is not a happy place to be sometimes. I had to quit when my doctor advised me to take it easy on the stimulants as my asthma medication is not exactly good on the heart. I wanna cup of coffee *WAH*. I am going to try to get around this by upping my exercise and dropping my bad things like sodium intake, but I don't know how long those things take before they are effective. And I thought I was healthy :(.

Yes, today is the day we here in the states celebrate the fact that a bunch of slave-owning, aristocratic white males decided they didn't want to pay their taxes (to quote Dazed and Confused). Actually, little known fact about me, my great-great-great grandfather actually signed the Declaration of Independence. Matthew Thornton, one of the guys from New Hampshire. I don't think that that has any bearing on my celebrating today, though, as we are not doing anything. Joe is on call, so we can't really stray far from the house. Last year we went to watch fireworks on top of a parking garage downtown. It was a really cool, happy atmosphere with a bunch of strangers celebrating together. This year we are going to do sparklers in the back yard and watch the cities fireworks on tv. I'm hoping to go to the downtown display when Nicholas gets older, but, while I think he could handle the fireworks, I don't think he could handle the wait or the HUGE crowds. I hope everyone is having a great day filled with barbecue and ice cream and spending time with people you love.

I have been working on this entry all day, on and off, so please forgive the disjointed, random nature. I would have gone back and made it a little more flow-y and sensical, but I'm lazy. That may also explain why I decided to publish it rather than giving it much of an end:

Ah, holiday weekends :). For some reason I do about five times as much stuff on the weekends when I have an extra day tacked on the end. All of yesterday was spent on home projects. I fixed a board on Nicholas' bed that had needed to be replaced for many days. I also started painting the little guy's room. The reason I didn't finish is because this painting is a little more involved than normal. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll be done this weekend, but who knows. This is the wall:



I still have to fill in the white circles with color and cut-in the ceiling (not to mention paint the rest of the room, but I think that is going to wait). I'm hoping that my crazy mind does not take on any other projects before the end of the day because I do need to sleep and we have other things that need to be done.

Today, Joe and I are going to pick up and deliver food to a mother on my Austin parents message board who just had a little girl. She also has twin toddler boys. Joe and I were joking last night on the way home that no matter how hard we think we have it, there is always someone in a situation more difficult than ours. I am really enjoying getting to help all of these mamas. It's giving me a new sense of community and satisfying my urges to help. I know what it is like to fall ill or become indisposed because of other reasons when you have a child, and it sucks. Life becomes about ten times more difficult because you are feeling like crap and still expected to function. All we do is food delivery, but I really think it helps sometimes.

I didn't get a chance to write about my trip to San Antonio on Friday because I got home so late and then threw myself into doing stuff right when I woke up the next morning, but I can write about it now. Nico didn't do so well on the trip in and got a little bit upset that he was still in his car seat after about thirty minutes. We still had an hour to go, of course. We didn't really do much in San Antonio because of misplaced nap times and general laziness on the grown-up's part. Maria and I spent most of the time talking and watching the two kids go crazy with toys and swings and puzzles. In the evening, we all headed out to Chuck E'Cheese pizza. While the kids didn't seem into the idea of eating, they were thrilled with all of the games and rides. Nico's favorite game was skeeball (so like his mother) and is actually getting pretty good. One of these days we are going to actually do something when I come to visit, probably not until the temperatures drop below infernally hot. We're going back down to SA in two weeks and I'm hoping to hit the new Asian art exhibit at the San Antonio Museum of Art, but who knows. By then we will probably be topping out 100 degrees.