Walking Backwards

I find the funniest things in the strangest places. Some helpful information from my prescription bottles that I picked up last night:

- My hydrocodone pills came with the warning: "for home use only". It also said "DO NOT SHARE THIS MEDICINE WITH OTHERS" in huge lettering as well. I suppose the kid and the fact I was still in my pajamas at 8 o'clock at night just screamed party girl. I have to wonder if there are bottles out there labeled "for use in the workplace" or "use only when operating heavy equipment".

- My nasal spray advertised that it had "New: Scent-Free mist". What kind of person would be so cruel to put fragrance in a steroid nasal spray prescribed to people with sinus infections? Like we don't have enough going on up there already. Was the mist really scented before? I have to wonder what kind of consumer testing that has to go under to pick the most preferred fragrance.

- I discovered when I got home that my amoxicillin "decreases the effectiveness of birth control pills". Of all the warnings the doctor and the pharmacist gave me, they forgot to add this juicy little tidbit. I guess that it is assumed that while you're feeling like crap, it's very unlikely that you are going to want to have sex. Still though, I knew my doctor had ulterior motives when he asked me if I wanted more kids after Nicholas.

- I have been taking Allegra for awhile now, but after the overload of interesting warnings, I had to look at the bottle. Can you believe I am not supposed to be driving a car while under the influence of this medicine? I guess someone should have told me that sooner. I think it might be a better idea for me just to remove that label since I have to take the medicine twice a day to function in the pollen filled south.