Walking Backwards

"Hello, Poison Control?"

Yes, I broke my poison control cherry this evening. Nicholas got into my treatment fluoride and decided that it would make a tasty, after-dinner snack. I can't explain it, but my son likes to eat toothpaste (adult, mint toothpaste) and other things that most people would find impalatable even in small quantities (think hand lotion). Most of the stuff I keep locked away, I even started keeping my toothpaste on top of the refrigerator last week, but my fluoride I kept in my toothbrush cup because he never seemed interested in it and it has a very difficult to get off twist cap. Not only that, but I thought that he couldn't reach it. So, it was with horror that I received the news from Joe tonight, while I was on the phone, that Nicholas had gotten into this tube of poison. Joe caught him hiding in our bathroom with a big glob of fluoride in his hand. I called poison control and explained that my baby had ingested an indeterminate amount of fluoride, somewhere between a lot and a little. The extremely nice and understanding poison control lady, Holly, said that 15 grams is toxic and that if he ingested that amount, he would need to be taken immediately to the emergency room. She really downplayed the likelihood that Nicholas would have eaten this amount. First, fluoride burns when you eat it, especially the cinnamon fluoride I have. Second, he wasn't displaying any symptoms of fluoride poisoning. I also told her that out of the 100 gram tube, only 40 grams could possibly be missing and he seemed to have spread a lot of it on the counter. She told me to give him four TUM*S and a glass of milk to counter-act the acidity that the fluoride causes and to watch him for an hour to make sure he isn't complaining of stomach pains or starts throwing up. Let me tell you, he didn't seem too thrilled at us for giving him the TUM*S, but he did eat them. We told him they were candy and I think that he ate them just because he didn't want to be accused of ever turning down candy. So now we wait and see if he grows a third eye. I'll update tomorrow about the results of our studying him and give you a rundown of our weekend.