Walking Backwards

Yes folks, tomorrow is the big day. Its LEEP day. I am going to get a 3 mm deep (at least) chunk of my cervix removed. I am so thankful that I got out a ruler today too, because I had somehow mixed up the conceptual space of a millimeter and was imagining it to be a lot worse. That was kind of scary. I should have known better as I have no depth perception to speak of and can barely park a car, my concept of spatial relations is so poor. Wish me luck and good pain medication.


Elsewhere today I went on an unusual quest. After dropping the short one off for his obligatory (for my sanity) two hours at preschool, I went off looking for Chanukah goodies. I wanted a wooden driedal, a menorah, some gelt, and a few candles. Oh, I also wanted a book or two on the background of the holiday. I just simply would not believe the stories relayed to me by the other parents on my message board that these things were difficult, if not impossible, to find. Now, I know what you're saying: "Jamie, you're not Jewish!" We'll, I'm not Christian and I celebrate Christmas. I'm not pagan and we usually do something to acknowledge the solstices/equinoxes and mark yule, samhain, and beltane. I feel that if I am going to be a religious hypocrite, I might as well be an equal opportunity one. You see, now that I have a small child who is currently riding the first and only grandchild wave a little to fiercely and frequently, I have come to the conclusion that Christmas costs too much, is too materialistic, and fills me with frustration and anger. Sadly, it can't be done away with as my husband's family revolves around this holiday. I thought that maybe by incorporating Chanukah, I could become more in tune with the "spirit" of the season. I know from the small amount of reading I had done on the holiday from before that its a very family centered holiday, that is important to me. I also like the idea of Nicholas knowing that other religions exist in the world.

Ah, but let me get back to telling you about my quest, the search for the illusive holiday paraphenalia. I remembered that a local toy store here carried Chanukah items last year, so I drove up to the other side of town to see what they had. The entire front of the store looked like my grandmother's Christmas decorations exploded in it. All very nice, vintagey Christmas decor. Stuffed by the register was a two foot by five foot shelf with some nice wooden driedals, some blocks with Hebrew characters on them (pretty neat), a few games, and some chocolate gold coins with American eagles on them they were trying to pass off as gelt. Since I didn't have any cash and I wasn't going to pull out the debit card for one wooden driedal (the only item in the store I wanted), I left.

I made my way down to the frou-frou hardware store at the end of the shopping center, figuring that since they carried Christmas stuff, they must have something for Chanukah. I approached the counter first thing after the twenty wasted minutes in the first store and asked "Do you carry menorahs?" Simple enough. The woman said no, and the man next to her asked "What's a menorah?" I am not kidding here. People, this is a religion that has been around longer than Christianity, its where Christianity gets some of its oldest tenets and you don't know some of its most basic ritual objects? The next part of what she said had to be the funniest, though. I asked if she knew of where I could find a menorah and telling me she had no idea she suggested that I go ask one of the managers in a shop down the way because she is Jewish. You know, because only Jewish people would know where to get this "obscure" object that is central to Chanukah. Bah!

I probably don't even need to say what I found at Target, but you would think that a store that dedicated a quarter of its floor space to x-mas would have at least a small bit for an important holiday of a religion other than Christianity. Sadly there was none. I can't even imagine what people celebrating Ramadan or Kwanzaa have to go through. Now I know that I always try to shop locally, but this time, I fear, it is going to have to be internet all the way. At least that way, when I search for menorah, I don't have to face the blank stares.