Walking Backwards

I seem to be in some sort of creative, sewing frenzy now that I have a small space to lay out all my crafty stuff. I made this smock this evening after dinner (please ignore my hair which is in crisis mode right now after using Joe's VO5 because I was out of shampoo):





Yes, it's the same fabric I used for the kitty I made for Catherine. It should look cute with a tank top and jeans. I'm trying to re-vamp my wardrobe and with our budget, I'm going to have to make most of it. I did pick up some cute embroidered pants at Old Navy today that were $6.97 on clearance. Tomorrow, Joe is going to give me the day off and I am going to try to squeeze in a trip to the thrift store to buy some new to me jeans.

I'm still spending most of my time in project mode. Today Nicholas and I ran errands, but while I was home I made this little sweetie (pattern from www.weewonderfuls.com):





She's for a friend who is expecting her first baby in October. I'm going to miss the shower, but I wanted to do something special.

Nicholas hasn't been in the best of moods today and I think it is because I've been spending all of my time at the sewing machine. He was a little neglected. Tomorrow we are having baby H over, so even if I pay close attention and am involved with the two of them, Nico is still going to feel neglected and act out in his special way. I need to figure out a good compromise that will let me get something done and still pay attention to him, but have him be okay for the time that I do have to leave him, but be able to limit that. Ah, I need some sort of magic here.

School child care has all been set up, but Joe has thrown a wrench into it by adamantly pushing to have Nicholas in a traditional school environment in the fall. He says that it will be too stressful for Nicholas when he goes into kindergarten to go from the loosely structured day we have to full on rigid structure. I see where he is coming from, but we're on all of the waiting lists for all the schools I would consider sending Nicholas to school to and they are ALL FULL. I need to know before I enroll in my school what my childcare hours are going to be so I don't sign up for a class and have to drop mid-session because Nicholas got into a school and they require pick-up by noon. I also don't want to sign him up for a school I'm not comfortable with that would limit my going to school anyway because I would be there constantly monitoring the place. Instead, a friend who love Nico is going to watch him Monday, Wednesday, and Friday along with her son and two other children she watches. I don't think that is a bad deal, but Joe keeps going on about the structure, the structure. We got into a fight at Joe's work when I went by to drop off something. I hate fighting.

Hmmmmm . . . I wonder who it'll be.

Rowling to kill two in final Potter book

Nothing like the south Texas heat to get a girl to want to knit. Nico's scarf is making some nice progress and should be done by the end of next week, maybe this week if I feel motivated. Then I can start on the matching hat.

We've been getting so much done around here, I'm starting to get optimistic about getting it all done before my middle of July deadline. I also talked to Joe about hiring someone to come in and help me give the house a good detailed cleaning before the fall semester starts and he agrees that it is a good idea. I'm going to count that as done on my part. The list of to-do's is till quite long, but if we keep knocking them out like we've been doing, I might have a free weekend before our four weeks of driving and flying and visiting all of creation begins. So, without further ado, this weekend's Baker's Dozen:

-1- Mop, mop, mop

-2- Clean, clean, clean

-3- Saturday I had to make lunch for my dad's belated father's day celebration. Mmmm, new potato salad

-4- My dad brings me a John Denver CD, much to Joe's chagrin. I torture him and the neighborhood by singing along while I fold laundry in the front room. It reminds me of my childhood.

-5- Saturday evening we had friends over for dinner (yes, two big meals to make in one day). I made spinach lasagne and used those no-boil noodles. There must be some sort of trick there that I'm missing because, while they didn't turn out bad, they were a little more chewy than I'd expect

-6- With our recent rains, my backyard has seen an influx of mosquitos. It is like Lord of the Flies back there. We have retreated to the indoors until they disappear or summer is over, whichever comes first

-7- On the lookout for a new water bottle as mine bit the dust this weekend after I stepped on it

-8- Took a trip to the local Indian/Pakistani market to restock supplies. Nan bread, black lentils and more spices than you can shake a stick at

-9- The local yoga studio has classes 50% off for the month of July. Looks like I have another thing to add to my agenda

-10- Visited a friend going through some hard times and brought her love and snacks

-11- Joe takes care of dinner by ordering pizza and ice cream while I'm in the shower. I'm proud of his accepting his limitations and not trying to cook. I'm signing him up to take a few cooking classes this fall to prevent some of the experiances we have had in the past.

-12- Tea, knitting, and going to bed early make a nice sign-off for this weekend

-13- We hung some pictures on the office/guest/craft room wall making it seem a little less empty. They are pictures that hung in my room while I was growing up and my dad found them while unpacking some boxes at his condo a couple of weekes ago. Joe says they're creepy, but they remind him of me, whatever that means, and when I showed them to one of my friends, Seanna, and told her the whole story, she said that they explain a lot. Hmmm, I like them, so they're staying. I hope our guests like Keane's 'big-eyed' girls:

The summer slide, it seems, has begun. We woke up this morning at 8:45, almost two hours later than our normal, pre-summer wake up time. I need to start working on getting us up earlier. Why, you ask, would I do something that would prevent me from sleeping in and getting the rest that I so urgently need and deserve? Because we are missing out on all of our normal activities! Nicholas' old preschool was having a playdate this morning that we were supposed to go to, but we would have missed if it hadn't been cancelled due to the rain. We also need to be at Boggy Creek Farm by 9 am, at the latest 9:30, to get all of the good organic, locally-grown veggies that my spoiled family needs. Story-times at the library start at 10am around here, but you best be milling around the library ahead of time if your looking for a spot to get in. But not only are we missing out on all of the cool kid's stuff to do around here, by the time we wake up it has reached the ungodly level of hotness you would expect of a Texas summer. I need to cut out the late nights and sleeping medicine and become reacquainted with my alarm clock. It might also make Nicholas take a nap in the afternoon, something I sorely need.

In the past week I have had some great conversations. Yesterday I was talking with friends about the underlying messages that we've found in children's books and television shows. Take a close look at Curious George, Babar, and the Smurfs; you can read a lot into it. We also have been discussing views on contemporary literature and what we think are hallmarks of a good novel. It's almost as good as being in school. I'll have to talk more about it later, right now I have a small gremlin breathing down my back looking for a spoon for his yogurt.

We need to leave the house today. Yesterday we spent almost the entire day at home and rested up from the weekend and became cruciferous vegetables at the computer and at the television. I did get laundry done and made beds and cleaned the kitchen, but our house is still a mess and it is raining and dreary outside so Nicholas can't just be released into the wild backyard to burn off some energy while I finish off the tidying. We were supposed to have baby H over this morning while his mother went to the doctor, but I overslept. I know, I feel horrible. So, today it is just us and the overwhelming chores and the television. That is why I feel the need to leave. We need action and adventure at some point in our day and we're not going to find it around here. Maybe puddle jumping will do us some good.

Just got back from our trip to Houston and I'm just wanting to sit down with a cup of tea and my Northern Exposure videos. Before I forget about it, this weekend's Baker's Dozen:

-1- Before leaving on any weekend trip I try to clean the house and put something in the fridge for us to eat when we get home. I failed on both accounts.

-2- I forgot to water the plants.

-3- I did remember to give the cat extra food and water and packed Nico's toothbrush and special floss.

-4- Friday night I went to go see 'Showgirls' and was reminded of how disturbing that film was. Good and bad jokes abounded.

-5- We left Saturday morning after I had a horrible night's sleep. Damn freakin' medication.

-6- I tried to knit on the way there, but couldn't look at the knitting because it would make me car sick. Instead Joe and I argued about whose musical tastes were better and why I am not stuck in the eighties.

-7- My sister-in-law's shower was fun and she got a lot of good loot. Lots of fun stuff for the kitchen.

-8- Nicholas and Joe stayed at boy base camp at the grandparent's house where Nicholas entertained all by counting to a hundred and showing off his mad calculator skills.

-9- After the shower my mother-in-law and I drove to five different stores to try to find an auto-adjusting wrench for my father-in-law's father's day gift. Every place was sold out and we ended up buying a gift card. When I asked someone at Home Depot if they had any, he laughed at me. It was disconcerting.

-10- Good Night, and Good Luck

-11- Bad night's sleep in a strange bed and I'm exhausted. Nicholas slept poorly, too. What a good mood we were all in on the ride home :)

-12- Joe went to the grocery store and to the rescue and brought us grumps dinner and fruit for breakfast tomorrow.

-13- Two pics for your pleasure and because I can't pick one:

Hruska's is our favorite place to stop between Houston and home. I don't know why, but they are now selling scrapbook supplies (?). We had some beautiful sky to gaze at on our drive, too.



Nicholas was so tired after this weekend that he fell asleep mid-Cheeto. Joe picked him up the snacks at the aforementioned Hruska's and I thought/hoped the thrill of having his special road-snack would keep him asleep until we got home and had dinner. Apparently not.

Apparently I slept well last night. After finishing the entry last night I went into my room to watch some television and work on Nicholas' stripey scarf. Joe was in the shower and I told him to move his motorcycle inside the garage after he was done. By the time Joe got out of the shower I was fast asleep amid a tangle of yarn and knitting needles, my movie just beyond the opening credits. I don't really feel fully rested this morning, though. Probably sleeping pill hangover. It doesn't help that I only had enough coffee beans this morning to make half a pot of semi-strong coffee.

It's good that I might have gotten a decent night of sleep because we have a couple of busy days ahead of us. Today, Nicholas and I have to take care of our father's day shopping and card making and pack for our trip to Houston this weekend. We're packing this afternoon because I am going to go see the Mr. Sinus presentation of 'Showgirls' tonight. If you are familiar with Mystery Science Theatre 3000, it is the same concept, but they don't just do sci-fi. I've never been, but I know it is going to be a blast. Then the trip to Houston, my sister-in-law's wedding shower is this weekend and we're going to celebrate father's day there as well.

Speaking of father's day, wouldn't you know the gift I ordered for Joe has not come in yet. I special-ordered some snazzy tools so he can work on his car, but I opted for in-store delivery so I didn't have to pay for shipping. What a mistake that was. They said it would take 3-5 days, and now here we are two weeks after I submitted the order, and it hasn't even shipped yet. Now, a smart person would not have waited this long to pick up the alternate gift, but we're lazy and I already kind of know what I want to get him. Nicholas also has to pick out a gift. For mother's day, he pick out a tray with basketballs on it and some temporary tattoos for me. I can't wait to see what he'll get Joe at Target's 'Dollar Spot' today. I'm probably going to get him a gift card to a local comic shop because he has been wanting to pick up some stuff for the D&D game he is in now. It will also give him an excuse to drive all the way up there to visit. Not that he ever needs an excuse.

As fate would have it, the new medications I am on are doing wonders for my asthma, but the side effects are a little difficult to deal with. As a person who has dealt with insomnia all of my life, I don't handle anything that makes sleep more difficult very well. There is the sleeplessness and now there is a constant feeling that my head is mired in ephemera. I can't concentrate and I really feel bad for anyone who is trying to have a conversation with me because I catch only half of it and then make unrelated, rambling statements when it is my turn to speak. I think that it is the sleep deprivation that is causing most of it, but after this round I am going to have my dosage reduced or refigured so I'm not so slow on the uptake. Right now, sleeping pills are on the menu this evening in hopes of making my day tomorrow a little less disorienting.

I just realized that we are a ways into June and I didn't even see it go by. I'm back in school in the middle of August so I came to the conclusion that if something is going to get accomplished, I'd better start soon. When school is in session, Joe and I operate purely on survival mode. For that to work, when I'm between sessions I have to get everything done that needs to be accomplished for the next few months. The winter break is the most difficult and stressful because it is only one month and they throw Christmas and Hanukkah in there. Well, during the summer I seem to take a more relaxed pace. I catch up on my reading, I watch a lot of television, and I act like I have all the time in the world. I really don't though. Yesterday afternoon Nicholas and I were sitting on the floor of our empty guest room/office and being silly and the fact that if I don't get off the couch, I'm going to have to survive another school year without an office or even a quiet workspace. So I started painting and let me tell you that that is not easy with a four year-old underfoot. Here are some action shots:

This is the color around the door. Nicholas tried to run into the shot wearing my hat


This is the paint we used and what my hand looks like right now because I can't get the stuff off


And this is one of the finished walls being patched last night. We have to go pick up some drywall repair stuff today to finish the rest of the room, but at least we made a step towards getting this done. I don't want to tell you what we have left to do.


I really don't know where the rest of the summer is taking us yet and I probably won't until it is all over, but I'm enjoying it so far. I should look at what needs to get done and make a list and follow it in an organized and methodical fashion, but I haven't and I probably won't (something I'll regret in September). For now, I'm happy to see what it is like to slow down and appreciate my surroundings, to reconnect with friends who are also spending the summer taking a breath and sitting for coffee. The painting was a fluke, but it made me happy. Nicholas loved painting on the wall, too. My moment of driven frenzy now gone, I hope it gets finished. And I hope the paint comes off of my hands.

Because I had been floundering in the meal planning department I asked the advice of my friend Seanna, meal-planner extraordinare, to see if she had any tips that she could recommend that might make my job a little easier. It turns out she did. I also figured out a little way to break out of the rut we've been in, meal-wise.

The first change we've made is that Joe and I are starting to make sure our calendars match up. This is surprisingly important because I often forget when it is going to be just me and Nicholas or if it is going to be Joe manning the oven or if we're having company. Being apprised of these things at the last minute has proven difficult and stressful because we have the bad habit of allowing our cupboards to become a barren wasteland. So, syncing our calendars.

The next step I have taken is to record our meals for the week IN my calendar. Before I always wrote it on some stray piece of paper that disappeared five minutes after I put it on my desk, never to be seen or heard from again. This way, I know what I'm preparing when I check my calendar the night before and know if I have to run to the grocery store, etc. Yay for that.

Most importantly, though, is that I am starting to mix up what we're having. With a four year-old's limited tastes, we haven't been getting the variety of foods that I want. We've fallen into the rut of eating the same things every week, week after week. Now, I've discovered a way to be more adventurous. I was getting all of my recipes from the internet, but that keeps you confined to a similar group of foods. Buying cookbooks wasn't feasible economically. Now I'm starting to get them from the library. Because we have such a limited time with them, I'm more likely to really read through them and try out things before the deadline of having to bring them back. It's been fun.

So that is where we're at right now. I think that the cooking/eating part of our lives had really become an unspoken source of contention around here. Especially considering that I am the only cook. Finding a way to lift some of the problems we've had with it is going to make all of us happier. If it works, of course.

By the way, tonight we are having gnocchi in tomato sauce with peas and steamed carrots. I got it from a library book.

The weekend's Baker's Dozen. I haven't had a chance to sit down and write some of the entries that have been popping into my head these past few days because Nicholas has taken over the computer in a fit of heat-induced rage. The fact that I can no longer leave the door open for him to come and go as he pleases is upsetting to him (as I'm sure it would be to me), so he has taken away my outlet too in order to equalize us and to play pbskids.org. So onto the events:

-1- Saturday was Joe's company picnic at the YMCA across town.

-2- They had three bounce houses (two of which had water sprayers), paddle boats, canoes, snow cones, face painting, balloon animals, games, and it was catered.

-3- Nicholas got hurt by running into a cable fence he couldn't see, but would not let that deter him from the bounce house joy.

-4- He would not nap afterwards and was very cranky.

-5- We had dinner at a friend's Saturday night and Nicholas wasn't in a good, social mood, but he did eat all of his dinner.

-6- Joe was on call this weekend and worked almost the whole time

-7- I decided to put the Atari 2600 and the 8-bit Nintendo in storage so we would have more room for Nicholas' stuff and because we don't play them very much anymore.

-8- We spend two hours playing NES.

-9- Sunday is not the day to start any type of major cleaning project, especially when you have a tendency to get distracted.

-10- I went to a Tony award party at a friend's all by myself. Then I lamented that there is no live, musical theatre here in Austin. Not that I think Joe would go.

-11- The RF modulator for the DVD player in our room is busted, so I can't watch Northern Exposure while laying in bed and knitting. Sad, because I have to return the DVDs to the library this week and I've really been enjoying them.

-12- My camera is also busted and I have no idea when it is going to be repaired.

-13- **Edited to add a photo that works**
This is Nico on Thursday (the start to the weekend for us)at the Witte Museum:

I'm on a new medication for my asthma that my doctor gave me two days ago. I went in for a sinus infection and came out with an increased steroid dose, a new nasal spray, and a new maintenance prescription. This is in addition to the antibiotics that they gave me for the sinus infection. I now take so many medications that I have to carry one of those little pill organizers around with me (I also take a few vitamins, so it isn't all that bad yet). I feel so old sometimes.

So, to avoid looking/feeling old, I bought a Chococat pill organizer at the Sanrio store. I had looked around Walgreens, but all the pill organizers they had depressed me and reminded me of when I worked with really sick people who carted around boatloads of pills and looked so sad and unhappy. This is my stand against the fact that I am 27 and carrying around a pill organizer for an illness that has no good outcome and seems to be getting worse as the years go on. I think that this pill organizer is awesome, it makes me feel happy.

Lately, we've been having difficulty balancing the healthy aspect of meals with the easy/quick factor and the requisite inexpensiveness. I seem to be able to manage to get two of those elements without difficulty, it's just getting all three that is proving to be tricky. I can do quick and healthy, but it gets pricey. Inexpensive and healthy is also easy, but it is not something you want to try when you only have 45 minutes to make dinner and a screaming preschooler and you've forgotten to go to the grocery store. Originally, I planned my meals and that made it a little easier because I didn't have to deal with the making-things-on-the-spur-of-the-moment problem, but that didn't work because I would randomly have cravings for fresh ginger tea and whole red bell peppers (it happens) and thus negate my planning and prep and shopping ahead. I have discovered two meals that I can make and have put myself on the wait list at the library for a half-dozen cookbooks that are promising me their fast/cheap/healthy secrets. The two meals we have managed thus far to approve in all departments are Thai green curry with brown rice and veggies, and red beans and rice with sauteed greens. If I could find an acceptable recipe with TVP (texturized vegetable protein) we'd be set because I bought a huge bag in bulk and it just didn't work in chili for us. That's all I know to use it in, too. Oh, and if there is a good recipe for stale tortillas and canned tomatoes, I think we'd never have a middle of the week shopping trip again. Except for red bell peppers.

It seems as if I was either too ambitious with my plans today or my idea of planning a summer day is just silly. We didn't go to the library and we didn't go to Krispy Kreme for their free donut day. We did deliver the meal to our friend who was hit by the car (while walking across the street! while six months pregnant!). She and the baby are fine and she isn't in too much pain anymore. Because her little boy is going stir crazy and I'm going stir crazy and Nicholas is going stir crazy, we ended up staying there for just over two hours. Nicholas had fun, they has little boy spats, but mostly over whose turn it was with the toy and how they aren't supposed to play baseball in the house even though it's a plastic bat and ball.

After that we went by Target to pick up a phone card for my cell (sadly, I'm no longer a card carrying Luddite, I had to get a cell when Nico started preschool so I wouldn't worry about them not being able to get in touch with me if his ear fell off or something like that). Nico ran around in the store and got some of the bunnies out of his system in the dry-floored, air-conditioned splendor of that shopping paradise. This was followed by visiting Joe at work to play Galaga. Then over to a friend's for an afternoon visit. Then to the health food store for necessities and then the toy store to buy a gift for a little boy birthday party tomorrow morning.

So yeah, it looks like I'm a little too ambitious in the planning department. I wish I could find a middle ground between the sitting around and the overbooking. I think if I throw my planning book out I might forget some of the things I need to do. Of course, I would then forget all my doctor appointments and car maintenance, but at least it would leave the time to lounge with my friends by the pool.

Well, the shots caused Nicholas to run a fever for two days that even Tylenol couldn't bring down. It never ran too high (102 at its highest), but it just would.not.go.down. Because of this, my boy became a cranky monster. I completely understand, but I can't say it wasn't disruptive. I didn't think he would be experiencing side effects so late in the game, so I had made plans for those day as well.

We went to the new Blanton museum with my brother. I thought it would be okay because the museum is very low-key and Nicholas could just wander around if he wanted to. Well, he was fine until we got to one of the last parts of the museum and he found the interactive modern art piece that had an element involving about a million pennies. He was allowed to touch them by the docents, but I don't think they wanted him to put them in his pocket. He got upset when I stopped him and we had to take him out to calm him down.

Yesterday, I had to spend almost the whole day in the kitchen to make a bunch of meals I'm delivering to friends who just had babies and friends that are sick and husbands who forgot their lunch. I had to rely heavily on Charlie Brown movies, school glue, and child scissors because it was pouring down rain outside. By the end of the day, Nicholas was bouncing off of the walls. I deliver the last meal this morning and hope that he can contain that energy until we go out this afternoon. Hmmm, we'll see.

In other news, I still haven't found my summer groove yet. I'm still staying up way to late and not wanting to get up in the morning. I haven't found a good group to spend time with during the day and, because they have a summer camp, the children's museum is not the summer spot I thought it would be. Still on the hunt. Today, we're heading by Krispy Kreme for free donut day and then by the library and then somewhere where we can jump.