Walking Backwards

Ugh! I think I'm getting sick again :(. Not intense, flu-like sick, but my asthma is getting bad again and that usually leads to respiratory problems when the weather starts changing. I wouldn't complain, but I am actually motivated to get stuff done around the house for a change. I guess I'm destined to remain unproductive :). I've somehow gotten myself burdened with an extra full house for Thanksgiving this year and I want to have all the home improvements I started when they were here last year done. I am teased mercilessly about the recent renovations I've made to my bathroom. Let's just say I still don't have a light fixture eight months later and I have discovered that Joe has absolutely no desire to help me, but expects me to get it done. Damn stupid man thing. In addition to my less than stellar health right now, Joe has been gone in conferences and training sessions leaving me at home with the baby for twelve hours a day. I just want to sit on the couch and wait until insanity lands me in an institution and I can get a good night's sleep.


Nicholas' school has not been going so well. I can only leave him there for a short amount of time and he cries every second of it. I'm sure he's making progress because the teacher keeps telling me he is, but I can't see it. I was just looking forward to those three hours a day in which I could go grocery shopping without someone throwing something at me or that I could go to my gynecologist without my son freaking out and trying to climb on my leg whenever they give me my shots. Just six hours a week of peace, is it too much to ask?! I'm also considering starting up a small business (no details yet) and need some time to do research for it.


Okay, this has degenerated into a really whinny entry. I'm sorry. I am really not in that bad of a mood, but it seems all of the stuff that would be interesting to write about is a source of contention right now. Good things have been happening. Nicholas and I got to snuggle on the couch and eat pizza together while Joe was at a conference. While we were camping, I got some pointers on bellydancing, Joe got to play drums, and Nicholas spent two hours in the hall doing his interpretation of middle eastern dance. The herbs I planted two weeks ago are still alive. The grocery store by Joe's work is carrying all kinds of Jones soda (Target here didn't have it - thanks, though, Maria). Many good things, but it is always the things that irk me that I dwell on. I think it is because, by ranting about them, I get it out of my system.

Yes, well, school wasn't quite as I expected it. Nicholas' teacher asked me to stay after I had gone to the car for about five minutes and she was unable to comfort him. She said that it seemed that there would be nothing she could do if he were really left alone. We talked about it after class and decided that I should just gradually try to leave. On Thursday, I am going to leave just before snacktime so that Nicholas only has to be there for an hour by himself. Staying in his class was interesting. For some reason, every child in the middle of an "I want mommy" meltdown decided that I was the one they wanted comfort from. I had to hold and soothe one little girl for about half and hour until she was okay. Then after that was done I was leaned on by another sobbing little girl while I was sitting for story time. Shortly after, I was babbled at by a crying little boy who wanted to hold hands. By the time I took Nicholas home, I had quite the headache. I was glad to be of help, but couldn't I have been the one they wanted to play in the sandbox with? I can't wait until Thursday :).

We're back! Let's just say it wasn't the relaxing vacation I was hoping for, but it was okay. Joe's family is just loud and exuberant and they always have something going on. I also kind of relish my privacy and there just isn't any in a house with that many people running around. Nicholas also was really poorly behaved. There was a lot of screaming. He, also, was especially picky about what he wanted to eat. I'm hoping that tonight I finally get a good night's sleep. I'm sure Joe's sister, who had to give up her room and sleep on the couch for us, feels the same. Joe and I didn't do much the entire weekend. We went to the park with my sister-in-law, her son, and her boyfriend today. Nicholas got to eat potato chips and feed bread to the ducks (damn me for forgetting the camera!). We then walked around the park in the hot sun and decided to call it a day. After we got home, Joe's step-mother, his sister, and I went to the GAP outlet to buy my sister-in-law's birthday gifts. That way I would be guaranteed to get her something she wanted and that fit her. That is pretty much all we did, Joe and I are so boring. Nicholas did get a lot of stuff from his grandmother and his aunts. He walked away with a holographic straw cup, a pair of jeans, a pair of shorts, three t-shirts, a button-up shirt, and a container of Bob the Builder bubble bath. If we keep taking him there, I'll never have to buy him anything again. Good plan!

Don't you just hate it when plans are up in the air until the last minute and you are the one who is responsible for juggling them and the reassembling them in some logical and cohesive order? I spent most of the day on the phone today to rearrange our plans and get Joe's vacation schedule to him so that he would be able to tell his boss when he was going to be there and when he wasn't. First, we call Joe's mom to make sure that she still wants us to come this weekend. Thank goodness we called because she said she wasn't up to it. I forgot to call Joe's dad and step-mom who were expecting us to come in tonight until I told them this morning that Charla was sick and we were probably not going to make it. It turns out it is Joe's sister's birthday and they had made plans for us for the two days we were going to be there. So we agreed that it would be a good idea for us just to go into Houston this weekend for a mini-vacation, but come back early so Joe doesn't have to take as many days off. He would also be able to work half a day tomorrow because his step-mother runs daycare and would be busy Friday morning. Not too complicated yet? Then, he has to request Tuesday off because I have to babysit for part of the morning, but it might be Nicholas' first day of school (if he gets better) and I don't want to just drop him off and leave him there for three hours. He needs a bit of ease-in time. Then, my doctor calls and they can fit me in tomorrow for some problems I've been having, but have been unable to see a doctor for. So, I call Joe again and tell him he has to have all of Friday off, instead of a half-day because I can't take Nicholas to the doctor with me because he freaks out when the do anything that vaguely indicates that they might be hurting me and that he needs to take a half day off for the preschool thing. Finally, Cathy calls and tell me that Meghan doesn't need a baby-sitter Tuesday because her parents are going to be in town and they'll be able to watch Megan. I make yet another call to Joe and Joe has to enter his vacation in again for the third time today. So here it is:

Friday:
Joe is off all day. I have a doctor's appointment in the morning and then we leave for Houston.

Saturday:
We get to be lazy in Houston and hopefully convince the mother-in-law to babysit for an hour or two.

Sunday:
Sister-in-laws party. We return from Houston.

Monday:
Joe returns to a normal work schedule

Tuesday:
I don't babysit and I will be the one taking Nicholas to his first day of school (hopefully)

Is that all clear or am I just up way too late? I feel I need to lie down and think about this.

The monster is finally, FINALLY asleep. Instead of jumping up and down and singing with joy, I am struggling to keep my eyes open. After my deconstruction of the day, I am going to ooze myself into bed with a cup of tea and my knitting needles awaiting the inevitable cry in the night. Hopefully, I'll get a couple of good hours in before I make the long trek taking Nico back to his room. The poor guy is so congested he has been waking up every few hours not being able to breathe. Oddly, he decided against the nap today and chose to be loud and agitated all evening instead. Yuck, I hope this is over soon. Having a sick baby is so hard because, when your baby is sick, your empathy increases exponentially. The doctor at the after-hours clinic did provide me with a small easement to some of the current discomforts, he gave us a decongestant that is not immediately rejected as vile poison by the boy who needs it so badly. It doesn't seem to work all that well, but it does make me feel as if I am doing something. I'm supposed to work as helping parent at the preschool this Thursday, but I can't go in if the little man is still sick. Skipping out on my first day, damn I feel bad. I did go in today, while Joe stayed home, to fulfill my duty as class photographer. I wanted to get some shots of the first day (and spy on what a day in the classroom is like, okay). Too bad Nicholas won't be in any of them :).

So, I was watching the local news tonight and there were two stories about recent city council decisions and elections that really made me mad and reinforced my desire to try to uproot certain members of our local government (or live in the wilderness where I don't have to worry about things like this). It seems as if our city council does less research into their decisions than I do. I am probably more involved in local politics than would be normal, but hey, I live in Texas and it is the only area of government I feel that my voice, actions, and concerns make an impact. Anyway, I'm probably not the only one who is mad because one of the issues I'm talking about had a 92 percent voter opposition. I just want to poke them all with a stick and live in my pretend world where there are respectable politicians who can repel any hint of being tainted by bribery or outside interests.

I must be tired.

Nicholas is still sick so he missed school today. I also missed book group last night so that I could take him to the after-hours clinic. My total over-reaction was made evident when the doctor told me he had "a cold" and he would be fine. No medical intervention necessary. I may write more later, but right now I have to chase after a crazed child who remains under the influence of decongestants.

For now, a quiz:


You're a punk rock mommy! DIY is probably your
motto, because you're a punk mama at heart.
Your kids are getting your independent spirit
and guts, and learning to solve problems
themselves. You love it when they show their
independence, even when it's breaking your
heart.


What kind of a freaky mother are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

It seems as if the downside of having Nicholas in a childcare setting has already hit us. He woke up from his nap on Saturday with a really running nose and soon had developed a fever. Saturday night was hell because he couldn't breathe and his fever would come back rapidly once the tylenol wore off. Yesterday, he was really grumpy and lethargic and he wouldn't let us put him down. He still has a fever today and his nose is all crusty and still won't stop running. I also seem to be suffering the ill-effects childhood illness. Damn communicable diseases. His first day of school drop-off is supposed to be tomorrow and it looks like it just ain't going to happen. Well, maybe I can hope for a miracle.


We have finally started watering our yard. The tree care people showed up to tell us that while our tree did have signs of tree-boring insects, if we watered and babied our tree for a while, we wouldn't have to treat it for insects at all or worse, rip the whole thing down. It was funny, we put out the sprinkler on Friday night and woke up Saturday to green grass under our tree. Talk about instant gratification. I know I am going to be in shock when I see our water bill, but right now its nice to have that little patch of pretty, emerald grass. Of course, we're starting this the same week they are considering a twelve percent increase on the water bill.


Joe called his mother this weekend to make sure that they we're still wanting us to come in this weekend. It turns out that my mother-in-law has a sinus infection and, because she is on immune-suppressant therapy for lupus, she may not be better by the time we drive in on Thursday. She is supposed to call us Wednesday and so we know if we should drive in or not. While I am kind of looking forward to going, at the same time, part of me hopes that we don't have to go. The drive is never pleasant and, like every time I have weekend plans, there are at least five events I really want to go to. I guess we'll have to wait until Wednesday to find out what we're doing.

How weird is it that, when I published today's new entry, yesterday's entry came up?

Well, I wrote an entry last night about Nicholas' preschool parent orientation, but it looks like it has disappeared. I'll just give you a quick run-down of what I remember. Its probably better this way, because you won't have to deal with the agonizingly long and tedious details. To give you an idea, it was two and a half hours long. I was about five minutes late and arrived to find the place packed with people who all seemed to know each other. Being no good at small talk, I sat down and filled out the three-hundred forms that I had to turn in at the end of the night (including a criminal background check, yikes). The three speakers told us all about the school, first aid procedures, yada, yada, yada. . . I spaced out about an hour into the whole thing. I am SO glad they sent us home with an information packet going over everything they covered. It does make me wonder why we had to go there in the first place.

In other exciting news, I took Nicholas to the Austin Zoo today with Cathy and her two girls. Coming from the awesome zoo at San Antonio, the Austin zoo was kind of disappointing, but it was the perfect zoo for someone Nicholas' age and a little bit older. They had a great petting area and the sold cups of food for the animals at the beginning. We took the train around the property and Nico was in heaven. It was so cute to hear him name all of the animals as we passed them. The zoo did have a great advantage over the San Antonio Zoo in that you could take your own food and drinks in with you, so Nicholas actually ate something. We left after about two and a half hours and Nicholas fell asleep almost immediately. I can't wait to get the pictures developed (I'm trying to get away from my digital for a bit).

I'm off to make dinner now and keep the baby from surfing on his changing table. Tomorrow is his preschool open house, so excitement abounds here.

Here I am, back from the parent orientation for Nico's preschool. Its amazing how sitting in a boring meeting for two and a half hours can numb your mind into a stupor and leave your thoughts to wander. I think after the first hour, everything was lost on me. Good thing they sent us home with a handbook. Of the many things I didn't catch, I missed what my parent responsibility was. Nico's school is a co-op, so everyone there has a job (in addition to helping in the classroom once a month). My job is class photographer, but no one can tell me what that involves. Oh well, hopefully someone will fill me in or at least tell me when I'm not doing something I'm supposed to as opposed to yelling at me that I've forgotten something yet again. Now that I have most of the logistics down, its only two short days until the boy walks through the doors. I am anticipating a freak out, but would really welcome being surprised. I am really too tired to be typing, so if this doesn't make any sense, please forgive me. I must go lay down.

Yikes, almost two weeks since my last entry. To be honest, I haven't done much that would qualify for writing about. There are a few things that I would have liked to vent, but they resolved themselves so quickly that I didn't have too much of a chance to build up the steam. Joe and I have been working around the house a lot to keep ourselves entertained. I am beginning to realize that reining on the terror that is our yard is going to take a great deal more work than I bargained for. We discovered that one of our two trees is infected with bark beetles and the prognosis isn't good. From what I've seen online, the tree has about another two-three years to live, then we have to have it cut down and hauled away as its trunk will look like Swiss cheese and will be prone to random limb breakages and falling over in general. Out of the few options we have, Joe and I have decided to plant another tree nearby that will have three years to grow before the other tree goes into the great tree beyond. We also have a lot of other planting to do in the backyard. All totaled, I hope to have at least three more shrubs/trees in the ground by October and all of the beds planted. I know, I'm so optimistic.

I'm also working on super de-cluttering of the inside of the house. We have so much stuff, this is going to take awhile. This evening I hung up a bunch of pictures and mirrors as well as re-covered the rocking chair pads and ottoman. I've been selling books and movies we no longer want on half.com. Its odd, when you look into our house, we have so much empty space that I have to wonder where all of the stuff is coming from, but we have bags and piles to give to Goodwill. We are finally putting up the toys that Nicholas no longer plays with and rearranging his playroom. He has so much more floor space now to play in, I'm sorry I didn't do it earlier. Hopefully, after we are done, we don't go crazy and fill it up with more useless stuff again.

In addition to all of the excitement that cleaning has brought us, Joe has had to work many, many extra hours this month. He has to retain one of his security certifications, which means he has to complete 32 hours of training by the end of September. Keep your fingers crossed that he can do it. He also has to keep up his 48 hours a week schedule. Let me tell you that I'm more than thrilled. Our server is also getting buggy, so he keeps having to run up to north Austin to work on it. I have meetings all month to attend for the start of Nicholas' preschool as well, so we seem to have no time together. I miss him, but I know its fleeting and that it will be over by the end of the month.

Nicholas starts preschool this Thursday and I'm a nervous wreck. I don't know how it is going to go. Right now, he can change from super clingy to independent at the drop of a hat. He also has stopped talking around people he doesn't know well, so I don't know what is going to happen with that. I know it is going to be okay in the end, but I don't know how it is going to start out. It is hard enough for me to see him go to preschool without him having a hard time letting go a little. I suppose I'll get a better idea on Thursday when he tours the school. Tomorrow is parent-orientation, so maybe I can voice my fears then or maybe get a little reassurance.

Hmmmm. . . . Enough rambling for now, I think. I promise more rambling later. Most definitely sooner than two weeks away (I will have preschool to talk about after all).